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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Morning after first

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Author Topic: Morning after first
Member # 22629

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Okay, so I kind of have a statement and a question..

I lost my virginity last night, and my emotions are strange today, I feel kind of awkward, and kind of relieved. I feel like a really unsure, nerve wracking, uncomfortable time in my life is now behind me, but I feel just kind of weird. I plan to keep it a secret from my roommates and most people because it's private, though I'll probably tell my sister.

My question is that so much stress is placed on being in a relationship when you have sex, and I lost mine to a friend. There's something to be said about friends having sex. I'm not worried about a romantic relationship falling apart.

So.. what are your thoughts on sex outside of relationships?

Posts: 4 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Michelle Ravel
Member # 21100

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I think that you did have a 'relationship' with this guy. He was your friend, right? You liked each other? You knew each other well?

That's the kind of relationship you DO want to have with any person you sleep with.

Posts: 51 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 22596

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That's the weirdest thing, the exact same thing happened to me last night! It was one of my friends and it just sort of happened, although he wasn't a virgin so I'm experiencing the worried after-thoughts of 'what if I was bad' at the moment. I also feel kind of different and weird in a not-quite-sure-if-its-good-or-bad way. I think that I made the right decision and losing your viriginity to a friend instead of a boyfriend does take off pressures that I think would be there if it was a relationship. For example there's no feelings of disappointment or worries that having sex will mean that the couple now have to continue having sex all the time.

[This message has been edited by Daffodil (edited 03-25-2005).]

Posts: 11 | From: England | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8636

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It's up to you who you feel comfortable having sex with. If you felt more comfortable giving your virginity to a friend, then thats great. Nothing anyone else can say will change that. I personally think it's really healthy to do that, but that's just my opinion.
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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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the term you're looking for is "casual sex.' Casual sex isn't always a one-night stand with a stranger from a party. Casual sex includes mutual agreements to engage in sex together, but not have a romantic relationship.

read more about casual sex in these threads, follow them for i will be closing this one.

Casual Sex

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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