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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » still a virgin

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Author Topic: still a virgin
sparky89
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hi im 15 and im still a virgin but all my friends hav lost there virginity is 15 gd 2 b a virgin still?

Posts: 5 | From: united kingdom | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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In the UK, you're under the age of consent, so it's illegal for anyone to have sex with you (or your friends) until you're 16.

Beyond that, what matters is when you are ready and want to be sexually active (and find someone you want to be sexually active with) - not when your friends are, or think they are.

Being a "virgin" doesn't make you a different person, and "losing your virginity" won't make you any more or less grown-up, mature or important.

Here's an article you should read:

Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist

quote:
is 15 gd 2 b a virgin

I know you've been asked this before, but please don't use netslang like "gd 2 b" for "good to be" when posting. It makes it harder for everyone to read and understand you.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Barbarosa
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I had to write so I could say the silly things my parents said to me, the sort of goofy stuff I swore I would never say to MY kids if and when I was a parent…

So, here goes and thank you for giving me the chance!

If all your friends were dying their hair black, and dressing all black, and painted their nails black and… uh, no never mind that doesn’t work

OK

If all your friends were getting their belly buttons pierced… Uh, nope hang on

OK, Umm how about had a cell phone, er…

Well that did not go as well as I thought. But what is for certain, like these examples above, the fact that others like you may choose to do certain things, or dress a certain way, the choice as to what is good for you is still your own. Good or bad, right or wrong, all those values belong to you. And try as they might, NO ONE can decide these things for you.

It can be hard to sort some of that stuff out at 40 let alone at 15. Finding what works for you and feeling like it matches your values is an evolving process too. You may find you feel differently about some things later on in life.

The “If I Knew Now What I Knew Then” thread in Sex Basics and Sexual Health is a neat spot to look at how some older folks (some younger too) have looked back at their decision making, and how it might be different now.

In general consider the consequences of your choice, what is likely to be the outcome of your action? How easy will it be to “undo” what you picked if you decide later it was not a good choice after all? Things that have more permanent outcomes probably warrant much more in depth examination and thought.

So, if 15 feels like the right age to remain a virgin to you, than it definitely is. If you feel that way at 17, 19, or 21 and beyond, that is how YOU feel and its right for you.

And it would appear from what logic_grrl notes the Law thinks it is right for you now as well, and they can be a lot harder to argue with than friends.

“Self-trust is the first secret to success” - RW Emerson
“In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect... and no” - Jane Haddam


Posts: 380 | From: Up North, Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smilee_kylie
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I'm 18 in one week, I have had a boyfriend for over a year, I'm still a virgin. It's completely normal! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum2/HTML/005997.html

Might be worth bearing in mind, also, that (on the basis of this post) at least one of your friends who's sexually active is very obviously not ready to be.


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icy_gal
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Member # 20584

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lol... don't wry about it. I'm almost 15 a still a virgin 2. anyway, the point is, i love my boyfriend of 8 months to death, but we're taking it slow. Coming up with other things 2 satisfy our needs. DON'T feel pressured to do ANYTHING that YOU'RE not comfortable with!!!!! I personally believe that if you REALLY love someone at this age, it's fine, just be careful.
Posts: 22 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobbaii
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Member # 20613

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Typically speaking it should not be considered as good to still be a virgin at 15 years old as it is illegal to have sex under 16. If your friends are having sex then it is their personal choice, but only have sex when you yourself feel ready and try not to be 'in' the crowd on this matter.

------------------
Bobbaii


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Barbarosa
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quote:
Originally posted by Bobbaii:
Typically speaking it should not be considered as good to still be a virgin at 15 years old as it is illegal to have sex under 16...


The italics are mine, and I think this word should be bad, which is of course what you have been hearing from the rest. It is perfectly OK.

[This message has been edited by Barbarosa (edited 10-31-2004).]


Posts: 380 | From: Up North, Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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