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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I need some help....

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Author Topic: I need some help....
Member # 20075

Icon 9 posted      Profile for fille_francaise     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, I need some advice on 2 things. I hope that you guys won't be brutal, but I'm ready to hear it the harsh way...

1.) I had unprotected sex about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I know...bad me. But I'll get to that later. I make sure that everytime I do something like that, he pulls out before he's even close to "coming." Then, friday I was over at my boyfriend's house & things got pretty heated. He started fingering me. Shortly afterward, I went into the bathroom & ask i was peeing, I notice I had what looked like a small blood clot coming out of me & I instantly panicked. It's not like me to react that way after he would finger me because we've done it so often & my hymen is already stretched.

& being that I'm the biggest worry wart there is -- & don't quite understand the whole pregnancy process & all of the signs -- I can't help but to think that it would be something on the lines of that...could that be possible? I'm not supposed to start my period until, should I worry? Maybe could it be that he was fingering me too hard & it caused me to bleed a little? Or should I be worried about the possibility of me being pregnant from my "sexcapade"? & a stupid one at that...

2.) I notice that it's usually ME who annitiates the unprotected sex. I get waaay into the moment & I just don't care. But then afterwards, I feel so scared & guilty for what I've done. I'm a really sexual person when it comes to my boyfriend & I really enjoy our time together.

How can I calm myself down when it comes to those moments? How can I tell myself "no" & not try to push for the sex? I hate constantly worrying when it comes time for my period...How can I not get too into the moment?

I hope it all made sense. Thanks for you listening...& like I said, please be nice guys. I don't need someone to tell me how much of a stupid broad I am. I beat myself up about it enough...


Amor Vincit Omnia :: Love Conquers ALL Things.

Posts: 138 | From: Southern California, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 14443

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Electric_Amish     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Aww hun, you're not a stupid broad, you just make mistakes. We all do. Lord knows we all have our vices...

Anyway, the blood clot could probably be any number of things. There is a possibility that he was fingering you too hard, or it could've been left over from last period, but it could possibly be something worse. If it keeps doing that, go to a gync. And of course, you know you do have a risk of pregnancy and STI's and such...get screened and whatnot.

But I don't know what to tell you about your overactive sex drive. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, try to keep in mind the anxiety, guilt and whatnot that you'll feel afterward if you don't use protection. Or ask your partner to keep you accountable. I know it seems a little weird asking a guy to keep YOUR sex drive in check, but it may just be crazy enough to work! But only you know your own body, and you can find a way to discipline yourself.

I hope this helps, and don't beat yourself up over it. That does no good. Try to fix the situation, if there in fact turns out to be one. Good luck!

Posts: 60 | From: Clemson, SC, USA | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5375

Icon 4 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Pulling out is NOT a form of birth control. At this point you can take a pregnancy test and expect an accurate result. If you intend to continue being sexually active you and your partner need to find a reliable way to protect against unwanted pregnancy and STD/STIs (which both of you are at risk for.)
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20046

Icon 1 posted      Profile for smilee_kylie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
As for your sex drive...the only advice I can give you is to make sure if you know you are going to be alone with him and tempted to have sex, have some condoms on you. Even carry them in your wallet so you'll always have one
Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20075

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fille_francaise     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks guys for the replies. I'm hoping that today or sometime this week, I'll get my period. It's not even about the pregnancy's more about me having "blood clots" or something weird like that. I really don't want to go to a gyno because my parents will be suspicious...they have NO idea I'm sexually active.

As far as my sex drive goes, I'm going to do everythign I can to control myself.

Thanks again though. You guys really helped me.


Amor Vincit Omnia :: Love Conquers ALL Things.

Posts: 138 | From: Southern California, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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