Well I had sex last night and this morning i am hurting really bad, Im bleeding a little too and It feels kinda like a burning sensation inside down there. And it hurts to even walk around. We used lubricant so i didnt think it would hurt like this? It wasnt my first time, but he is a new partner and that was the first time i had sex with him. I usually have pain anyway, but in my tummy rather than in my vagina. I am a little scared. Thanks for your help!!
Sorry, I know you cant tell me whats wrong cause your not doctors, I was a little panicked before. I was wondering if its possible if you have had damage, like scarring in there from being raped in the past if you can like aggravate it and make it worse again if you have rough sex? I gave it time to heal but I havnt had it cleaned up with surgery. I am due for another surgery to remove endometriosis soon. We didnt use a condom but I am on BC pill. And I have not missed any. But he was a little rough and I get nervous about sex because of what happened to me, so i was just wanting to know if with those factors, could it be the scar tissue hurting again? Thank you for your help (sorry if im not making any sense too) And thanks for being here and giving your time to help people! i really really appreciate this. nixieGurl
Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004
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thank you for the quick reply! Yes my gyn has told me i have scar tissue in my vagina, and thats one of the reasons sex used to hurt so bad for me. I am trying to get better when it comes to sex and I have to stop myself from freaking out anymore. The guy i slept with,doesnt know about what happened when i was younger, and when i was hurt by my ex. I dont feel comfortable talking to him about those things yet. I don't mean to get freaked out with sex It just happens and then i feel really crappy about it cause he gets annoyed like my other boyfriends :S and i know its my fault for not telling them but i just cant. I tell myself that if i get scaredi will tell him to stop but then sometimes i have even blacked out for a few seconds, i dont even know how to tell him to stop. ugh im sorry im rambling. Thanks again. Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004
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Nixie, I think you should go back and have a look at Miz S''s advice to you in the previous thread I linked to.
If you can't talk to a partner about what you're experiencing and don't feel able to tell him to stop whenever you need to, that's a big red flashing sign that you're not in a good state to be sexually involved with anyone.
(Especially not someone who's going to get "annoyed" with you and make you feel "crappy" for having problems).
You need to respect your feelings and give yourself some space to work through them, preferably with help from a counsellor or therapist.
Trying to suppress your feelings and force yourself to "stop freaking out" during sex is just going to add to the trauma, just like continuing when you're in physical pain is going to hinder your physical healing.
I suggest you ask your doc for some specific suggestions on how to deal with the scarring, but I bet you that one of the first things s/he will say is not to continue intercourse when it's causing you physical pain - you're potentially going to be irritating the scar tissue.
You've got some major, major issues to deal with here, both mental and physical. That's not your fault. But trying to pretend they aren't there isn't going to make them go away.
Imagine you were in a car crash and broke your leg - would you pretend it didn't hurt, refuse to see a doctor and go run a marathon? Imagine how much more damage that would do to your leg, and how much longer it would take to heal after that.
As Miz S said:
quote:Trying to pretend it didn't happen, to avoid the issues, to push yourself into things you CLEARLY cannot handle is self-abuse and destruction.
I really can't encourage you enough to put the breaks on: you're barreling towards hurting the heck out of yourself and making healing from your assault a million times more difficult than it already is. I understand the desire to want to "just be normal" or "get it over with," but it just doesn't work that way.
Thank you. I understand, I just thought maybe I could just get over it if I carried on having sex and then i wouldnt be afraid anymore, guess that doesnt work. I will go to the doctor about the scarring, and I wont have sex for a while.
I havn't been to a counsellor, I havnt told anybody. It was a long time ago, but sinse then other things have happened and just made it worse. Thanks for the advice, I don't feel so wierd anymore. nixieGurl
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