Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Hurting Bad after sex

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Hurting Bad after sex
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nixieGurl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey,

Well I had sex last night and this morning i am hurting really bad, Im bleeding a little too and It feels kinda like a burning sensation inside down there. And it hurts to even walk around. We used lubricant so i didnt think it would hurt like this? It wasnt my first time, but he is a new partner and that was the first time i had sex with him. I usually have pain anyway, but in my tummy rather than in my vagina. I am a little scared. Thanks for your help!!

nixieGurl


Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
Activist
Member # 5594

Icon 1 posted      Profile for celery     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
you should go see a doctor.

Sex should not be painful, and if you're having a burning sensation as well it could mean an infection. so go see a doc asap, cuz we can't tell you whats wrong, we aren't doctors.


Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nixieGurl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sorry, I know you cant tell me whats wrong cause your not doctors, I was a little panicked before. I was wondering if its possible if you have had damage, like scarring in there from being raped in the past if you can like aggravate it and make it worse again if you have rough sex? I gave it time to heal but I havnt had it cleaned up with surgery. I am due for another surgery to remove endometriosis soon. We didnt use a condom but I am on BC pill. And I have not missed any. But he was a little rough and I get nervous about sex because of what happened to me, so i was just wanting to know if with those factors, could it be the scar tissue hurting again? Thank you for your help (sorry if im not making any sense too) And thanks for being here and giving your time to help people! i really really appreciate this.
nixieGurl

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Endometriosis can cause pain and bleeding after intercourse, so it'd be a good idea to talk to your doctor about this.

On the other hand, rough sex when you're feeling tense and nervous can also cause pain and bleeding.

And you've mentioned before ( http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000772.html ) that you don't feel confident asking to stop or letting your partner know when something hurts.

quote:
like scarring in there from being raped in the past

Have you actually been told by a doctor that you've got vaginal scarring? Vaginal tissue doesn't always scar when it heals, so this wouldn't automatically follow.

However, if you do have scar tissue in your vagina, then you'll definitely need medical advice on how to treat it and how to avoid problems with intercourse.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nixieGurl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thank you for the quick reply! Yes my gyn has told me i have scar tissue in my vagina, and thats one of the reasons sex used to hurt so bad for me. I am trying to get better when it comes to sex and I have to stop myself from freaking out anymore. The guy i slept with,doesnt know about what happened when i was younger, and when i was hurt by my ex. I dont feel comfortable talking to him about those things yet. I don't mean to get freaked out with sex It just happens and then i feel really crappy about it cause he gets annoyed like my other boyfriends :S and i know its my fault for not telling them but i just cant. I tell myself that if i get scaredi will tell him to stop but then sometimes i have even blacked out for a few seconds, i dont even know how to tell him to stop. ugh im sorry im rambling. Thanks again.

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Nixie, I think you should go back and have a look at Miz S''s advice to you in the previous thread I linked to.

If you can't talk to a partner about what you're experiencing and don't feel able to tell him to stop whenever you need to, that's a big red flashing sign that you're not in a good state to be sexually involved with anyone.

(Especially not someone who's going to get "annoyed" with you and make you feel "crappy" for having problems).

You need to respect your feelings and give yourself some space to work through them, preferably with help from a counsellor or therapist.

Trying to suppress your feelings and force yourself to "stop freaking out" during sex is just going to add to the trauma, just like continuing when you're in physical pain is going to hinder your physical healing.

I suggest you ask your doc for some specific suggestions on how to deal with the scarring, but I bet you that one of the first things s/he will say is not to continue intercourse when it's causing you physical pain - you're potentially going to be irritating the scar tissue.

You've got some major, major issues to deal with here, both mental and physical. That's not your fault. But trying to pretend they aren't there isn't going to make them go away.

Imagine you were in a car crash and broke your leg - would you pretend it didn't hurt, refuse to see a doctor and go run a marathon? Imagine how much more damage that would do to your leg, and how much longer it would take to heal after that.

As Miz S said:

quote:
Trying to pretend it didn't happen, to avoid the issues, to push yourself into things you CLEARLY cannot handle is self-abuse and destruction.

I really can't encourage you enough to put the breaks on: you're barreling towards hurting the heck out of yourself and making healing from your assault a million times more difficult than it already is. I understand the desire to want to "just be normal" or "get it over with," but it just doesn't work that way.



Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nixieGurl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you. I understand, I just thought maybe I could just get over it if I carried on having sex and then i wouldnt be afraid anymore, guess that doesnt work. I will go to the doctor about the scarring, and I wont have sex for a while.

I havn't been to a counsellor, I havnt told anybody. It was a long time ago, but sinse then other things have happened and just made it worse. Thanks for the advice, I don't feel so wierd anymore.
nixieGurl


Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3