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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » How do i talk a girl into waxing her lip and eyebrows?

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Author Topic: How do i talk a girl into waxing her lip and eyebrows?
flashme18
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the girl im seeing has a some hair on her lip as in mustache...i have no idea how to confront her about it...she would be even hotter if she waxed her eyebrows nice and thin too..how do i talk to her about this..we like to surf the web together when we are drunk..i was thinking this might be the easiest time to bring it up...b4 or after sex??? lol thanks ladies and gents
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Gumdrop Girl
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how to do this? either you ask her really nicely when sober, or YOU DON'T.

and you need to find a way to ask without sounding like a jerk. why? because it's her hair, and she gets to do with it as she wants. If you say it the wrong way, you're just going to sound like a shallow jerk and you can make her *really* insecure. you could be treading on eggshells.

don't try to approach her when drunk. that's an immature, cowardly way of going about it, and besides, if you're relaly intoxicated, (which isn't a smart idea anyway) she might just forget altogether, or remember at some inopportune moment and get really upset.

i know i let my eyebrows go and i don't get my lip waxed all that often either, but if my boyfriend came to me and said what you want to say to that girl, i'd get *royally* pissed off. we ain't blind, usually we're aware ... very aware. but some of us just don't really think it's all that important.

so if you feel like you really gotta say osmething, choose your words wisely, or you could find yourself in the doghouse.

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flashme18
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its definitely a tough question to ask!! this girl shaves everything in her genital area..so i would think that she is aware of any hair on her body...but my girl friends that i have asked suggested buying her a gift certificate to a spa where they they do waxings and things like that..she seems like she wouldnt get too embarassed bout it..she is very open and understanding..and seems to want to please me in everyway..so hopefully if i say the right words it wont blow up in my face
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XCatFightX
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Shaving one area of your body doesn't necessarily mean (not should it) that you shave your entire body. Hell, I shave it all EXCEPT my underarm hair. My boyfriend thinks it's incredibly attractive that society hasn't altered my perception of what beautiful is. Maybe you got a really smart girl there and are too hung up on what *doesn't* matter that you can't see what *does*.

The fact that your post is "How do I talk a girl into..." would indicate that you don't really care about what SHE thinks, you care about what you want.

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"My art forgot her tampon and she's bleeding through her jeans, yeah my art don't need no tampon she'll just bleed through her jeans"-Alix Olson

[This message has been edited by XCatFightX (edited 03-08-2004).]


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flashme18
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i would care what she thinks..if she told me her opinion on it..so that i could understand her reasoning...maybe she thinks i dont notice it..but i know a lot of girls and they all take care of any facial hair they'd have...this is what guys want and i dont think im asking for much..anything thats been shaved off on women for centuries has a reason to it..cuz either women thought it made them look unattractive or men did...so im not out of line here...im not gonna go on a huge rant..but askin a girl to shave a noticeable mustache isnt easy..but i shouldnt even have to in the first place
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anahati
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Just a note - women haven't been shaving for centuries. We've been removing hair - primarily leg hair - for quite some time, yes. But not all women. And not all women choose to remove hair today. Ultimately it is her personal choice, not yours. If you honestly want to ask her, then that is your choice. Her response, however, is not in your control and in the end you need to be able to respect what it is she wants. Her body is her body and you cannot dictate what she does with it.
Standards of physical beauty change with cultures and over time. In the end, what's important is what's inside.

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when i look at you i squint / you are that beautiful. - ani D


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wobblyheadedjane
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And I would like to point out that the late painter Frida Kahlo had a mustache and unibrow she was extremely proud of, and was thought to be a fine looking lady by men and women alike (she was bisexual).

I think the point here is that people can do whatever they want with their body hair; so long as someone thinks of themself as damn sexy, the amount of hair they have or where shouldn't make a difference. Confidence and a healthy self-image often become more alluring than any amount of plucking or waxing.


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Daydreamer24
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I have to agree with Gumdrop Girl. If a guy, even my boyfriend, asked me, or even worse, told me to do something, I'd be really, really, really pissed. I probably wouldn't even talk to them for a while.

Why are you concerned? Are you only interested in your girlfriend as a trophy to hang on your shoulder? Or maybe you just want your girlfriend to improve herself. It seems as if you mean well, but I'd definitely be careful on how to bring it up. That's a very delicate subject, as most women are somewhat self comcious about their bodies to begin with.


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Heather
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Waxing and bleaching or not waxing and bleaching facial hair is a total matter of personal styule, preference and choice, just like on men, shaving a beard and mustache or not is a matter of personal style, preference and choice.

In other words, it's up to her, not you, and it's not your place to tell her what to do with her body hair.

I cannot even imagine considering asking a girlfriend of mine to alter her style or appearance for me: it's part of who a person is (and maybe even to the point that she just couldn't be bothered with something so needless). Having dated plenty of women with visible facial hair (many have at least some), if I've noticed at all, it's like noticing this freckle or mole here or this highlight in one's hair there -- they aren't imperfections, they're personal details, and those small details of people should be endearing, not irritating. They're part of the whole person you're involved with.


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celery
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I don't see what the big deal is... it's just HAIR. I know if I had a boyfriend and said "hey you got a mustache..could you shave it" I'd be mortified and embarrassed and offended. That's how I would react, and obviously she doesn't really care all that much that shes got a little peach fuzz so why should you?

quote:
this is what guys want and i dont think im asking for much..anything thats been shaved off on women for centuries has a reason to it..cuz either women thought it made them look unattractive or men did...so im not out of line here...im not gonna go on a huge rant..but askin a girl to shave a noticeable mustache isnt easy..but i shouldnt even have to in the first place [/b

Umm not ALL guys want girls to shave, and not all men think it's unnatractive, that is you're personal opinion. And I'm curious as to how you know why WOMEN shave? when in fact you aren't even a woman to begin with.

[This message has been edited by celery (edited 03-09-2004).]


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*maykay*
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i totally understand what u mean when u say u think its not asking much but this unfortunately will hurt her feelings no matter how u say it to her. Girls tend tot take everything about their bodies very personally. I myself for example have been debating whether to get my lip waxed or even my tummy. i am most definatly blonde but i have a certain fuzziness to me that all girls have. thank goodness its not dark so its not looking like a mustache but its still fuzzy and im still considering waxing it. one thing u could do to get ur girlfriend to think more about this is to maybe get a VERY close friend to talk to her about it in a casual way .. THEY could take a trip to the "spa" together and she could mention it there, etc etc. Best of Luck!!

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**~the greatest thing you will ever learn, is to Love.. and be loved in return~**


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Heather
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quote:
Originally posted by *maykay*:
thank goodness its not dark so its not looking like a mustache

Thing is, maykay, this is the kind of approach that's problematic. Because your idea that having a visible mustache would be a bad thing is completely and totally personal, based on your own aesthetics, same way flashme's are in terms of disliking that, and same way, say, mine are in terms of LIKING how that looks on women.

But what any of US think about someone ELSE'S body, hair or look can't and shouldn't dictate what THEY think about it. If we have a visible mustache we want to bleach or wax, fine. But it's only our own we can really think about that with, not that of a partner or friend -- not our place.


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*maykay*
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yea youre most definatly right about that... sorry it just kinda came out that way... funny how our society is so hypocritical.. saying that its okay, we
"understand" and yet stating how thankful we are things didnt happen to us....

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lemming
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you know, I'm just going to jump in here because I had an unpleasant experience with this this morning.

it's pretty reasonable to think that she knows she's got hair there, and eyebrows there. people who are up to date on their hygiene have probably taken stock of what they look like.

however, it's also pretty reasonable to think that if it bothers her, she's done something about it or at least thought about it. so if she hasn't done anything about it, don't you go bugging her about it. it's a losing proposition, buddy.

I'm a little touchy on the subject because hey, bleaching something that you don't like the looks of every couple of weeks is a pain in the neck. it takes time, it's embarrassing, and it's a little painful while you do it. what a lot of bother for something with so little payoff. and no, shaving's not a good idea here--then you get stubble, and then you really look like you've got a moustache. waxing? OW.

to sum up? if it doesn't bother her, it doesn't bother you, and the sooner you incorporate that into your attitude about her appearance, the better. really. her peach fuzz is not your problem. your attitude is.

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Laurel Lemming
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And when her spirit left her body/How it split the sun/I know that she will live forever/All goes on and on./And she goes/And now she knows she'll never be afraid... - Neutral Milk Hotel


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eva_angel
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I can NOT believe what a jerk you are being about this! If she doesn't want to wax her eyebrows and lip, she doesn't HAVE to! Maybe she WANTS it! You have NO clue how she's feeling inside about it. I know, I was once in her same position. I wanted to wax so bad but I didn't feel like hearing people say "OMG YOU'RE NOT HAIRY ANYMORE!" or some stupid cracks immature people would make. If you can't except her for the person she is, and you just want her to be up to your standards, then you don't truly care about her! I also find it SICKENING how you referred to her in one of your other posts as "the mustache girl" - how RUDE is that!!!!!!!!!
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Anita18
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It sounds like you want her to do it for you, not for herself. ("..she would be even hotter if she..") Frankly, being a girl, I do notice everything that's "wrong" about my body, and I've spent a lot of time accepting my body for what it is. My body. If I want to change it, that's my perogative, not anyone else's. And it's just really really bad manners to tell someone to change their body because it doesn't fit the critic's idea of beauty.

It's just something you have to get over. Maybe you'll even find it endearing as time passes. (Heck, I find my bf's chest hair endearing and I always thought I'd be grossed out by chest hair..)

But in all honesty, if my bf said that I'd be hotter if I got a boob job or laser skin treatments for my acne scars, I'd slap him and maybe dump his sorry bum.


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CorsetFetish
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OK...I'm a little lost as to why this is such a problem.

I mean...it's her body. It's HER. Like everyone said, I really don't think you mentioning it to her is going to be the first time she realized she has it.

It's also not going to win you any brownie points. After all the bombardment women today get to be a size double-zero with 32DDD boobs and to be perfectly happy being housewives, we're not talking good idea.

If this is really starting to be a dealbreaker for you...you might need to re-evaluate why you're with her.

~Corset~


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contraindicated
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I'm Italian, so I have a lot of body hair, and I'm very sensitive about it. I would get an entire-body wax if I could, but that would be a) really expensive, and b) really painful. Plus you have to get it done like, every three weeks. It's NOT fun.

Maybe your girlfriend doesn't like all that high-maintenance stuff. She might like herself the way she is, and is counting on you to be into more important things than just how "hot" she is. Is she a girlfriend or just a sex object?

If you HAVE to ask her to wax, don't say it directly. That's just really rude. Maybe you could get her a spa gift certificate for the whole treatment, and just have the wax be part of it. Though, if she decides she doesn't want it, that's HER choice.

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