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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Nurse Mom Dead-set against Gyno exams

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Author Topic: Nurse Mom Dead-set against Gyno exams
Member # 13824

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LinaInverse     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am an 18 year old female. I have a boyfriend. We are sexually active. My mother doesn't know about the whole "sexually active" part, but I feel a gynocological exam is LONG overdue- especially since my best friend was just diagnosed with ovarian cysts. She's only 14 years old. It scares me to think that something like that could possibly happen to me at such a young age.
I tried calling planned parenthood for an exam, but they wanted 100 dollars for the exam, plus something like 40 for the pills.. thats 140 I don't have. I just quit a decent paying job to work at a summer camp for very little, and I'm going to need that money to buy books for college next year. My boyfriend is even in more financial trouble than I am, and I couldn't ask him to pay that kind of money.
I tried talking to my mother, but she has been getting very evasive. If I wanted to use my mother's insurance to pay for an exam, what would I need? Any sort of cards or whatever? How would I go about this? I don't care if she knows about it, because I talked to her about it. I don't care about what the woman assumes or thinks, I'm 18 years old, and it's about time I started taking care of my body.
The ironic thing about all this?
My mother is a registered nurse.


Posts: 6 | From: Ny, Ny, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13270

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Most doctors office's will need an insurance card, but most can cope if you know the provider and the name the insurance is under. You will also need some type of picture ID.

I would also suggest, since you haven't had any checks so far up to date, that you get a really thurough STD check.

Be open with your mom. Since she is as registered nurse, she no doubt is aware of the health threat towards STD's. Be open and honest with her.

Was kommt, kommt, und es gibt keinen Gebrauch, der versucht, ihn zu stoppen.

Posts: 142 | From: SD CA USA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13824

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I come from an uber-Catholic family.. I cannot tell her that I am sexually active or else I will be skinned alive and sent into a convent. I really, really do want a place to live for the next four years, thankyouverymuch.
And about the STD tests, I am lucky enough to live in the best city in the world that smells like urine on hot days, New York. We have a program here that offers free STD/AIDS testing. I took advantage of those services last year. The problem isn't STD testing, it's a gyno exam/birth control. And I have to get there without saying, "Gee ma, I'm having sex."
So I'm thinking of stealing the card for a day and traipsing over to a gyno, and if she asks, just sneer and say, "Well, it's long overdue, no?"


Posts: 6 | From: Ny, Ny, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 8067

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If you truly feel you can't tell your mum that you're sexually active right now, how about explaining, truthfully, that you want a gyn check-up because of your friend?

Having a best friend diagnosed with ovarian cysts at 14 is enough to freak anyone out.

So it's perfectly legitimate to explain to your mom that that's got you worried, and that you want a check-up to make sure that everything's okay with your body.

Now, I'd imagine that that exam wouldn't cover the cost of the birth control pills without them showing up on the insurance, so you may have to deal with that separately, for example by going to Planned Parenthood.

But you've got a very good reason to want a gyn exam. And remember that it's recommended that women have regular gyn exams once they've started menstruating, whether they're sexually active or not.

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13824

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Trust me, I've had The Chat with The Mother, and I mentioned that R. had ovarian cysts. She didn't seem to be too moved. She seemed incredibly evasive and dead set against me seeing a gyno, yet she'll drop everything in her power to take me to a dermatologist for common acne.
Any more talking to The Mother is out of the question.
So, what do I do now? Look in the yellow pages? How do I find out who the best doctors are that are covered by my insurance?
Right before/immediately after I go, I'm going to flatly inform my mother that I went. She doesn't need to know anything beyond that.

Posts: 6 | From: Ny, Ny, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5036

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You need to find out who your insurance company is. Then you either call the insurance company and get a list of providers in your area, or start calling OB/GYNs and find out who will take the insurance you have.

Planned Parenthood should have a sliding fee scale, btw, but in NYC the wait can be long. I used to take the train out to the clinic in Plainfield, NJ, because I could always get an appointment in a few days and they did have a sliding fee scale in place.

However, please be aware the PPNYC *does* take most insurance. That might be your best bet:

Hope this helps,

Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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another thing, for a basic pelvic exam, sometimes you don't actually need to see a gynecologist. your primary care physician can also do it for you. at your next check up, mention it to your doctor, explain the situation, and i'm sure he/she can help you.

more surly than girly...

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 168

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I have some really good news for you. Yay for NYC! I live here too. You can get a free exam, STD testing, and birth control at The Door. You don't need insurance or anything, it's just all free for anyone under 21. For more info, visit their web site at
Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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