I have performed reasonable searches in this site on this subject and although there has been much said about it, an exact match to my experience has not been forthcoming.
I am 18, male and have had some intimate contact with girls / woman to date. 4 to be precise. The 1st 2 had a very bad smell. The last 2 have not and the 4th is my current girlfriend.
I will now explain the problem in detail.
My 1st experience of fingering a girl was back when I was 16 during a date. When I smelt my fingers afterwards, I was confronted with an appauling smell, of a type I had never experienced before. The only way I can describe it is it was like the worst armpit smell I had ever known but in a different smell like way. What’s more, despite scrubbing my fingers the smell did not leave my fingers until about 2 days later.
I declined a 2nd date with her.
About 6 months later I got to know another girl and I was a friend with her for about a year. She felt that she was really a lesbian and would not permit me too much contact with her vagina, but she enjoyed masturbating me. There was a different but still pretty awful smell form "down there" all the time I had known her.
The 3rd and 4th girls I have known have been a complete contrast. A beautiful soft, gentle fragrance and a nice tangy taste.
The 4th girl, my girlfriend actually has a fragrance about her body when she wears no perfume, now that’s what I call a Lady!
I have seen references to possibly this problem. Once in the 1987 film starring Emily Lloyd in "Wish you were here" where a friend of the character's father fingers her. She allows him to continue but them tells him to clear off saying "I hope your fingers stink".
I also once saw a rubbish documentary following some common Essex girls about on a Saturday night out. At one point they are filmed singing (all drunk by the way) a laddish type song which had a lyric in it saying, "We'll make your fingers stink".
Clearly there is something going on here that as a man I am being kept away from.
I have had nightmares over this where I dream I get intimate with a girl only to find her vagina smells real bad and I have to leave her.
So my question to anyone who may be interested is this: Was I just VERY unlucky to first meet 2 girls who smelt so bad, or is this very common, and if so how do men stand it?
Every girl is going to be different, it not something you can change (not very safely anyway) and if the smell/taste puts you off, then try doing something where you don't smell/taste, or use something to block it (btw, anyone who knows, does a dental dam stop the taste to some extent or is it a hygeine thing?).
Posts: 125 | From: Leicestershire, England | Registered: Jun 2002
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It's worth bearing in mind that it's possible those foul smells were due to vaginal infections or poor hygiene.
In a healthy woman who has good daily hygiene (meaning simply that she bathes regularly) and who is in good health without any sort of vaginal infection (like a yeast infection or BV -- both which will create a strong and unpleasant odor most of the time), the vagina will have a distinctive odor, but it is not generally a bad odor at all, just a bit musky, like sweat. To some degree general lifestyle habits and diet can also make a difference.
I'd evaluate your fears though -- they seem a little bit escalated to me for something like this. I assure you, it's nothing being "kept from you," not is it any sort of conspiracy. The lyrics and lines you've heard were likely references, actually, to male paranoia about the vagina.
AlwaysWorried, a dam is a thin sheet of latex just the the latex of a condom, so no, you are not going to taste anything through it, as it is a complete barrier.
Although my question at the end of my post was not answered, I am afraid the replies have not made me feel too optimistic.
AlwaysWorried suggests it would seem that there is a spectrum from nice as in the case of my current girlfriend to truly awful as in the 1st I encountered.
Miz Scarlet correctly points that that bad smells can be down to vaginal infections or poor hygiene, but only that this a possibility, hence she implies some woman will always smell bad.
Putting my science cap on for a moment let me state my knowledge to date:
The healthy vagina is rather acidic with a pH of around 4. If the pH rises too much then the wrong kind of bacteria can populate there rising to problems that can include “fishy odours” according to the manufacture of buffered acetic acid products that are produced to restore the correct vaginal acidity.
In the UK we use the term BO as a short form for Body Odour. I feel this is a kind of misnomer as smells known as BO are more like Bacteria Odour since it is the Bacteria on our bodies that act with sweat to produce chemicals that smell bad to us.
I wonder therefore if the 1st girl I encountered had the wrong type of bacteria in her vagina that was capable of producing the unpleasant pong?
I think what you're missing is that one kind of vaginal infection in fact IS a bacterial infection -- in other words, what you're essentially trying to theorize about. And that doesn't mean it's permanent: both bacterial and yeast infections can be treated, and usually with great ease (and both men AND women can get such genital infections, for the record -- the "how can men stand it" comment is more than a little misplaced, considering that AND considering that not all men and women are heterosexual, no less).
So again, as I said, it is possible and likely that your first partner had a vaginal infection. many people, men and women, walk around with yeast or bacterial infections with no idea they have them.
I did not imply that some women will always smell bad, not sure what hat you pulled that rabbit out of there, Dan. What I said was that a foul smell is indicative of either an infection, poor hygeiene and in some cases, lifestyle habits, like say smoking, eating tons of processed foods, not staying properly hydrated, etc.
FYI: "pong" isn't exactly what I'd call a very respectful term for the vagina or vulva.
If you are being intimate with someone else's gentials I assume you have some sort of feeling, attraction or connection with the person in question, unless you are a sex worker or the encoutner is not consensual. With that in mind, being thoughtful and considerate would be in order.
I can think of one experience where I was with a man that could have had more pleasant smelling genitals. I was playful and suggested we shower together.
I have also experienced the opposite situation where I had a bacterial infection and my partner and I discussed it (how I smelled stronger and different than usual) and we handled it fine.
I also find that I do not base the value of a sexual partner (even a casual one) on the smell or taste of their genitals.
------------------ -Scarleteen Sexpert
"Glad to have a friend like you, And glad to just be me" -Carol Hall
Bettie do you normally say this to men here?
quote: unless you are a sex worker or the encoutner is not consensual
You have suggested that either I am a male prostitute or a rapist. Well thanks a lot! Please read my entire post before posting again, as I was the thread starter!
If my current girlfriend became “a bit ripe down there” and if she did not notice it, sure I would tell her but if I was on a date and after I had gone to “cop a feel down there” was rewarded with a foul smell it does show at the minimum a lack of judgement on the girl’s part.
I certainly could never get aroused with a girl if I first had to clean her off as you did in the shower with one man in your past!
I know some men frequent prostitutes so they are not very fussy, but there is more to life than sex at that sort of price. One has to have self respect.
[This message has been edited by Desperate Dan (edited 03-06-2003).]
dan, you're taking that in the wrong sense. there are several volunteers and admins around here who have worked in the sex industry. we don't see being a sex worker as a stigma - it was a legitimate possibility that bettie did not want to overlook.
as far as the encounter not being consensual -keep in mind that guys can be forced into sexual activity as well.
try not to jump to conclusions so quickly, eh? we're not trying to insult you, so try to keep an open mind.
------------------ Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk - real straight talk about souls - for life is holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locamotive howling off in the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star further. -Kerouac
Actually, women AND men may often have the start of infections and not be aware of them, especially if the only symptom is a smell. Most people are not as sensitive to their own scents as others may be because we walk around with our bodies all the time.
Men and women, again, may frequent sex workers of various types for numerous reasons. Some may be particular, some may not. Perhaps it is not on your agenda, however, there are numerous sex workers and clientele in the world who have no shortage of self respect.
Dan, from the way you're talking, it's pretty clear that some of the issue here is likely YOUR issue. That's fine for it to be that way, however, I'd say that your replies in this entire thread do tend to hint at you being more than a little obsessive about this whole thing, and that given, it may not be good for you to just be casually slipping your fingers into your date's pants, for their sake as well as yours.
Women, like men, live in human bodies which are not static, often unpredictable, and prone to not be in perfect states of health all of the time. They also tend to have functions and states of being which may not always be pristine and rose-scented. Sexual partnership and involvement means getting a little more intimate and up-close with all of that, as well as learning to be more accepting of those facts. If that makes you uncomfortable, it's really up to you to manage your life and sexual practices accordingly.
I apologize if you thought I was directing my thoughts at you Dan. I was using the word you in the general sense because while one person may start a thread, many people read it and may have experienced what the topic at hand is about. Next time I will say "if a person" and "they" to avoid any confusion.
And thanks Emily...that was exactly what I was referring to. :-)
------------------ -Scarleteen Sexpert
"Glad to have a friend like you, And glad to just be me" -Carol Hall
[This message has been edited by bettie (edited 03-06-2003).]
I don't think Miz S was even discussing issues of consent in her post; if you will read what you wrote, she actually said:
quote:'d say that your replies in this entire thread dotend to hint at you being more than a little obsessive about this whole thing, and that given, it may not be good for you to just be casually slipping your fingers into your date's pants, for their sake as well as yours.
Since you seem to feel an extreme level of revulsion concerning possible smells (to the extent that you have nightmares about it), but are evidently not at all willing or able to communicate with partners about the issue, I would seriously question your readiness for this or any other sort of partnered sex at the moment.
quote:if I was on a date and after I had gone to “cop a feel down there” was rewarded with a foul smell it does show at the minimum a lack of judgement on the girl’s part.
In what way? She may not have noticed the symptoms yet; she may not be aware that an infection is the cause; she may not have been able to get treatment yet.
Contrary to what you seem to think, whether or not someone has an infection says nothing about what they are like as a person.
quote:Please remember to keep a sense of humour, because I know Americans have one, you said so yourself some time back to another poster.
I suggest that you have a look at the guidelines you agreed to when you registered. This sort of sarcastic and disrespectful attitude towards the sexperts, advos, or other users is not acceptable here.
It's not an attack, merely a concern and a suggestion to perhaps give something a spot of thought -- which shouldn't cause anyone to be defensive unless they feel being ready for sex holds some sort of elevated status (which it does not), or unless they fear what answers they might come to should they give the idea thought.
Why perhaps did Clare say what she did? Flatly? Because what appears, via your posts, a pretty clear obsession with the smell of vaginas and using them as a means to judge female personalities says more than a few things about one's frame of mind in regard to sexual activity, Dan. That you seem unable to see the degree to which you're obsessing says even more, as does that you feel it's not a problem so long as you now have a partner you like with a "right-as-roses" smell. Given some of our longtime involvement in this field, we can often be as good at spotting readiness issues as say, a swimming coach can tell when a member of his team may not be ready for a meet. It's not all that esoteric. And if you don't find our input or experience in this field to be credible, one is left to wonder why you've come to us with questions at all.
I am Desparate Dans girl friend. Daniel was banned for being too snarky it seems!
Contary to what some may have said about Daniel he is not obbsevive and is a great guy
I think my email address should be accessable from my profile so to the previos poster, send me an email and Daniel and I will try to respond (BTW my vagina smells sweeter than sugar . I think Daniel had some bad luck with previous girls.
It would seem that email addresses are never available despite how you register.
So just post your quiery here and we will respond if we can
[This message has been edited by Dans Girl_friend (edited 03-29-2003).]
Hey Dans Girl_friend: posting by proxy for someone who was suspended is not acceptable.
Period. As with any user with a suspension, Dan is welcome to email and sort it out -- as the staff member who suspended him informed him when that occurred -- if he wishes to get back his posting rights.
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