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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » First Time

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Author Topic: First Time
I'llnevertell
Neophyte
Member # 11773

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a long time now and i'm ready to take our relationship to the next level and i was just wondering how is sex for the first time i mean does it hurt alot or what i'm confused.

Posts: 2 | From: Fort Smith, Ar, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
Activist
Member # 5594

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It really differs from person to person.
Some people have excruciating pain, and others feel no pain at all.
Everyone has a different body, and so they feel things differently, there's no set way your first time should feel.
But it is normal to feel discomfort or a little pain your first time.

Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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Just like celery said: we're all different, our relationships are different, our bodies and expectations and pain thresholds are different - hence all our first times (and that doesn't just go for intercourse, it goes for plenty of things, both sexual and non-sexual) are all different, too.

How my -or anyone else's- first intercourse was would hence be no indication at all how it will be for you.

Thankfully, the excrutiating pain and the gallons of blood from tored hymens some people talk about being related to first intercourse quite often are exaggerations.
Alos, there is plenty you and your partner can do to make your first time a good one: being prepared and ready is one, having your expectations sorted out the other.

We have plenty of articles here that can help you with that, for starters, check out

Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist
First Intercourse 101
Is that all there is? - A memoir of first time sex 17 years in the making

Hope this helps.

------------------
Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~


Spike: (In response to being asked to fight a troll) "I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-08-2003).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
frenchy
Activist
Member # 11720

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Every girl is different, its a whole new experience for us (and the guy if its his first time also). It can be painful (maybe you'll be one of the lucky girls who dont experience pain), but if you find it is for you, ask him to be gentle and take it slowly (it may feel like if he did it all quickly then there would be less pain.. thats usually false). Get use to the feeling, and then ask him to continue going in a little more, and keep doing this until he's all in (Thats what i did.. but make sure you've got a bit of time to spare for this). Just take it slowly until the pain is bearable or disapeared.
Just make sure you use lots of lube and have fun with lots of foreplay before it, that should help you.
Enjoy the moment, it most probably wont be like you always imagined or seen on TV but dont worry about that.

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alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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quote:
Originally posted by frenchy:
its a whole new experience for us (and the guy if its his first time also).

Actually, just to add something on that note: I have found that every time I had a new partner and even now that I have settled with one partner, there are plenty of first times and new experiences, all over again, all the time. - And I think that goes for people of all genders.
Sexuality is an area in life where -from my experience at least- one keeps learning and developing and growing all the time. - And there can be unlimited amounts of special, and different and great and sacred "first" (or 534th) times throughout.

And I agree with you frenchy, expecting sex (not only first times, but all kinds of sex) to be like on the telly isn't a very good place to start from. - Not only are there far fewer mishaps in telly-sex, but also, most of the time there's far less connection, laughter and fun than in real life sexuality.

------------------
Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~


Spike: (In response to being asked to fight a troll) "I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-09-2003).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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