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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasms?

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Author Topic: Orgasms?
JersLuvSlave
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Member # 11197

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Hi, I'm new to the boards, so I'm not sure if this is going to be considered an inappropriate question or not, but I'll give it a shot anyways. I can remember masturbating in a way when I was younger (maybe since I was 5 or so..) Just sort've touching myself, but the thing is, when I did, I would always get off, come, whatever you wanna say. Now that I'm older (18) and am in a very serious relationship, and having intercourse, I've found that I can hardly ever get off, and when I do, its only from clitoral stimulation. Like when something rubs against my clitoris, thats the only way I can have an orgasm. My boyfriend and a lot of other people I've talked to have said either people they've been with or themselves can have multiple orgasms and its not just from the clitoral stimulation. They can orgasm by penetration. Even if I were to touch myself during intercourse or have my partner do so, I'm not too sure I'd get off. When I do get off, its by accident because he rubs up against me un-knowingly. Anyways, I was just wondering if it was normal that I cannot have an orgasm that way, and if so, how in the world can I fix that, or at least make it so that I can have orgasms more than like once every few weeks? I feel so foolish, and just not normal.

------------------
*heather


Posts: 2 | From: Grottoes, VA, USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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This is a common problem, sweetie (Dare i say ... you're normal!)

There are many women that can't orgasm from penetration alone, and this is part of the reason why communication is so important. You need to be able to tell your partner what's enjoyable for you and what's not.

So how can you fix it? There may not be a quick fix to this, but instead something that will take some time, patience, and communication b/w you and your partner. Tell him what you like and what you don't like. Let him experiment and you can experiment too ... It truely is a learning experience!

It also may help not to put all the focus on the missing orgams. This can add undue stress, to the situation and the relationship.

Good luck

Whoops ... Forgot to mention the handy dandy article we have on Sexual Response and Orgams, which can be found right here, if you're interested!

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 12-30-2002).]


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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In fact, the majority of women can't reach orgasm from penetration alone, and need clitoral stimulation for orgasm.

Check these out:

Sexual Response and Orgasm – A User’s Guide
"I can't orgasm from intercourse!"


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Izzybella6
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yes.... i'm in the majority, too. But that doesn't mean that penetration doesn't feel good! I hope you're able to sort-of get over the orgasm thing enough to enjoy the whole spectrum of the act itself. As long as you have your partner wanting to get you off, you'll get there soon enough. Just don't forget about smelling thoes roses along the way cuz you might end the night without having smelled the roses OR having the orgasm!

cheers.


Posts: 56 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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