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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » What to say when he asks....

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Author Topic: What to say when he asks....
Member # 10016

Icon 5 posted      Profile for CountryGirl3     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, when my old boyfriend and I were messing around, he would always ask me what I wanted him to do to me. The thing is , I never answered him. I never knew what to say. And now, my new boyfriend and I have just begun to mess around and he asked me the same thing. I am still as clueless as ever. I know what feels good, I think my problem is more or less how to say it. I feel kinda silly. How do all of you respond when your bf/gf asks you that and how can I make it easier for myself to answer that question??

"Someone once said 'Forgive and forget.' But if we can't forget can we ever really forgive? And if we can't forgive, can we ever really forget?" -Carrie, Sex and the City

"Cuz who's to worry if our hearts get torn when that hurt gets thrown. Dont you know that life goes on? Wont you kiss me on that midnite street, sweep me off my feet, singin aint this life so sweet...this years love had better last." - David Gray

Posts: 38 | From: Uniontown, OH | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

Icon 10 posted      Profile for lemming     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First of all, congratulate your lovely boyfriend on having the courage to ask. How good of him, to be concerned with what you'd most like to happen!

And second, talking about sex frankly while you're NOT having it leads to it being easier to talk about it while it's going on. If you need to, you can practice saying what you want him to do to you while you're alone. Really think about it, figure out what words you're comfortable with. And then, yes, it is a bit of a plunge, but he'll never know what you want unless you tell him.

If you need to know the names for parts of your body or for his, you can check out these links:

Mans Best Friend Male Sexual Anatomy

Pink Parts Female Sexual Anatomy

Also, check out this article:
Sexual Negotiations for the Long Haul

Welcome to Scarleteen, by the way!

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Ooh, I'll settle down with some old story/About a boy who's just like me/Thought there was love in everything and everyone, you're so naive!"-Belle and Sebastian, "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9724

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I just wanted to second the idea of talking about these things whenever you feel comfortable and the clothes are still on! Besides being good practice for when things get nakid, it's a great way to bond with your partner when you are alone. It's always wonderfully flattering when my partner tries something during sex that we were just chit-chatting about days ago.. It's great to see that he's thinking of me while i'm not around and that he tries hard to remember things about me and my body. This might be the quickest way for you and your partner to break that ice!
Posts: 56 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4811

Icon 11 posted      Profile for Ssexxigurl18     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay well first of all know that you are not the only gurl feeling a little uncomfortable with verbally expressing your desires to your boyfriend. The best thing to do would be to be very honest and explain to him that you are not totally comfortable in a verbal sense sexually. He seems like a nice guy who does care about pleasing you so just try to relax a little and start off slowly telling him what you want him to do or just give him little signals to tell him how you feel and just go from there. Oh and have fun!
Posts: 35 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10268

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You could always just move his hand to where you want it too.
Posts: 25 | From: Crown point, IN, USA | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6837

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i used 2 have that problem 2......and i found a mmmmm or a small noise wen they r doing wot feels good is encouragement enough for most guys
either that or you can do what someone else said and place his hand where u want it.....found that works even better

Posts: 63 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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