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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » scared of sex

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Author Topic: scared of sex
PunkHippie420
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Member # 699

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hey... I've had sex before and I liked it, but now every time I get a chance to have sex with someone, even if I like him and we're in a bed and everything's perfect... well, I'm afraid of it. I get really nervous and scared, like before going on a roller coaster when you're a little kid. I like sex and I want it, it's just that when the time comes, I get weird... can someone help me?

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peace, music and anarchy
-erYn

**HITLER IS STILL DEAD**


Posts: 67 | From: California, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pink
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Its totally normal to be nervous. If everything is right, ur protected, and ready, try to calm down and go for it.

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u arent worthless if you can make someone laugh
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there is a difference between being stupid and being ditzy. i ought to know


Posts: 615 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ThisGuy
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Maybe you should just relax, and wait.

If you're scared of doing it, it might be something you have to deal with before you can move on.

It sounds to me that its more like you enjoy sex, but still aren't fully comfortable with it yet.

Then again, maybe you and your partner should just take things slower. You might just need more time to build up to the main course, so to speak. A little extra foreplay never hurt anyone.

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Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice
Crazy like a shoehorn, bay-be!


Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
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I have the same problem, sometimes - everything is good, safe, I want it - but then I get sudden muscle tenseness there (also called vaginismus) http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/pages/fbi_vaginismus.html

It annoys me, but as long as you talk about it with your partner, you can work through it...good luck..

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~lemming

"This was a Pizza Hut, now it's all covered in daisies..." ~Talking Heads, in "Nothing But Flowers"


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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did it hurt the first time you had sex? if it did, then that might explain why you are a bit scared to do it again.

for me, it just took a few tries, to work thru the awkwardness and nervousness i felt. (he was my first, he was experienced and i was not, yadda yadda)

it did not help that the second time we did it, his roommate walked in on us and would not get the hint.

what i'm saying is, it'll just take some time, and maybe some practice. good foreplay might help you relax a little, too.

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if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PunkHippie420
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Hey, no it didn't hurt the first time, but I'm not sure if he penetrated me. Maybe I'm afraid it will hurt this time because of it.

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peace, music and anarchy
-erYn

**HITLER IS STILL DEAD**


Posts: 67 | From: California, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sandy
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Maybe you're just confused now. Its normal you want to have sex, because its a natural impulse.
But you shouldn't be scared though, are you with the right guy? at the right time?
If it feels weird, just DON'T DO IT and wait.
Your body might be ready, but not your mind. remember that

~peace~

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*~*Young men's love lies not in the heart, but in the eyes*~* -Shakespeare
~*~Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today~*~-James Dean


Posts: 30 | From: Tampa, FL | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PunkHippie420
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Member # 699

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hey... yeah that makes a lot of sense, thanx

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peace, music and anarchy
-erYn

**HITLER IS STILL DEAD**


Posts: 67 | From: California, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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