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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Unsure

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Author Topic: Unsure
Member # 8316

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Hi Everyone. This is my first time on the site, and I'm sooo glad I found out about it. What I'm unsure about is basically myself. I started dating this really great guy (tomorrow will be our two month), and he's three years older than me. I know he went pretty far with his last girlfriend, although he's waiting to have intercourse until he's married, and I'm embarrased about how inexperienced I am. I guess I just need to know that other people understand how I'm feeling.

[This message has been edited by licibee (edited 05-27-2002).]

Posts: 9 | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7897

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Oh, I totally understand where you are coming from! A lot of the guys I've been involved with had way more experience than me and it's always a little threatening because you don't want to disappoint them or anything.
But keep in mind, usually there's no reason for such stress. If this guy really cares about you, he'll totally understand your lack of experience. Also, realize you don't have to go beyond anything you are comfortable with, it's totally up to you (an don't let him tell you otherwise). And if you do want to progress in experience, it's always nice to deal with someone knowledgeable who can guide you through the process and can end up being a positive learning experience (as in most of my cases)!

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Member # 5594

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Hey, I'm in the EXACT same place as you, i have a boyfriend and hes 3 years older than me (hes 17, i'm 14) and i'm pretty sure he's been farther than me, but it shouldn't be something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
Just be honest, and you know what some guys get turned on with inexperience, or maybe he'll feel special knowing he's the only one you've been with so far.

so don't worry about it and don't feel embarrassed, because i know exactly how you feel. it's all about commmunication.

Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Member # 384

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Also, be sure you check out the articles on this site. We have some great ones about anatomy, sexuality, and relationships. You can learn a lot and in some cases they'll get you thinking about stuff so you can decide how you feel before the topic comes up in the "heat of the moment" with your boyfriend.
Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8314

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i totally understand what you're talkin about i'm in the same situation my boyfriend is 19 n i'm 16 . i reek of inexperience but i can talk to my boyfriend about that stuff because i've been with him for so long it just works that way it will be three years in june . maybe u should tell him how u feel it cant hurt any.

i'm here for ya cause i'd want you to be here for me

Posts: 8 | From: Beltsville, Md,USA | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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Something else that you may need to consider is if it would even be legal for the two of you to have intercourse, even if your boyfriend plans to abstain until marriage.

Check your state's laws in the list at .

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Ooh, I'll settle down with some old story/About a boy who's just like me/Thought there was love in everything and everyone, you're so naive!"-Belle and Sebastian, "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8316

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Thank you all soooooo much. This has helped a lot. I'm glad to hear from other people who have gone/ are going through the same thing. Thanks for all your advice!!!!
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Member # 4811

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Hi my boyfriend is older than me and more experienced too so I understand what you mean about feeling inexperienced but if he really cares about you he will want to treat you right and help you to learn about things but do not do anything you feel uncomfortable with because you may regret it Well I hope this helps u!
Posts: 35 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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