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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » why does it hurt?

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Author Topic: why does it hurt?
ruby
Neophyte
Member # 6603

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my boyfriend and i are very much in love, and we both decided to have sex. but we've tried twice, and had half an hours foreplay each time, but it still hurts me, so much that i have to make him stop. it's like he can go in halfway, and that's nice, but any furthur and i can't do it. please, any advice would be greatful.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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you're just not used to it yet. it happens to a lot of people. What we recommend is using a condom and non-spermicidal lubricant like Astroglide. Lube is very important for making penetration a little more comfortable and preventing condom breakage. Go easy on yourself, and if it still hurts, don't ignore it. That's your body's way of saying it can't handle more right now.

Have you read our article about First-timers' intercourse? It's a great wealth of info.
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/firsttime.html

------------------
srm? wtf? iyhta ... rtfm!


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rekling
Activist
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gumdrop is right-- lube can help a lot!
and definitely don't go any further than your body can handle-- sex isn't supposed to be excruciatingly painful.

i assume you are talking about vaginile-penile penetration, although you didn't specify...though this advice goes for just about anything.
another thing is: go slow. you said you'd had a half hour of foreplay each time...don't put a time limit on it. maybe it will take you a few hours to be aroused enough to have non-painful, hopefully very enjoyable, intercourse. i don't know what is included in your foreplay, but sometimes engaging in other forms of sexual activity before intercourse is a great way to prepare. the more turned on you are, the better-- your body will be much more able to handle penile penetration.

and communicate a *lot*. it sounds like you are already doing this, letting him know when it starts to hurt. talk about what feels good during the foreplay, just keep the conversation going-- that can also help relax you, if it is nervousness that is causing the issue.

and of course, the piece that you already have down quite well: don't be afraid to stop when it starts to hurt.

hope this helps.
-rek


Posts: 72 | From: oberlin, oh / new york city | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
insatiablesmiles
Activist
Member # 6228

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hey
the foreplay thing is a big issue - i have just recently started sleeping with a guy who is a few years older than me and -quite- a lot more experienced, which means he really knows what's what and we can spend hours on foreplay - up to 2 1/2!
so trying try for even longer

-pandora
xxo

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- you think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated?
- well come on baby , i'm ready!

[ american beauty ]


Posts: 100 | From: london, england | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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