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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Does sex make things more confusing?

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Author Topic: Does sex make things more confusing?
Member # 4377

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Butterflyinthesky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am considering having sex with my boyfriend, but I read ia previous post that it can just make your relationship more confusing. Is it worth it?

"Do as you will, always walk where you like your steps, do as you please, I'll back you up." ~ *DMB*

Posts: 11 | From: MA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4503

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Loneliestnumber     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it all depends on how well the two of you communicate and the level that your relationship is at.
That isn't to say sex is wrong early in the relationship and right later in the relationship. It's all about your feelings.
The most important question to ask yourself is this: Do you feel that you are both prepared to discuss and, most importantly, practice safe sex? Do you think both of you will be able to handle this in a mature fashion?
Sex won't bring love to a relationship where there is none to begin with. But it can deepen the love that you already feel for the individual and bring you closer together.
Just tossing in my two cents here so take my advice if you like or not

"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run!"

C'mon, visit my website. You know you want to.

Posts: 38 | From: Somerset, KY, USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3771

Icon 14 posted      Profile for Brenda_91     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's a really personal question that only you and your boyfriend can determine. I guess I would say if you aren't ready to have sex, then yes, it would complicate your relationship. What constitutes my definition of ready? Being able to talk openly about it. You have to be able to bring it up, talk about the good and the bad, the contraception, the what if plan, where, why, how, and when. You might talk about all that, and decide that you aren't ready, and that's okay. Its a decision that needs to be made together. If you both aren't ready, then that could be another complicating factor. So go to the website, check out the Readiness Checklist, and talk about it with your boyfriend.

Take Care,

P.S. I did all of the above with my boyfriend. Two months after it was first brought up, we decided we were ready to have sex, and so far, it hasn't complicated anything yet, because we were ready. Hope this helps!

Posts: 60 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
Member # 3415

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hey. i think if you have doubt that it may interfer with a relationship, wait. you do not want to move into to something that is awkward for your or your partner. talk to your partner about how they feel about you, the relationship and how sex will affect it. once you get some answers to those, then think a little more and decide if it is really worth it and if you are 110% ready. take care!

(heart) always, torrance

*so you stole my world, now i'm just a phony*
*i need to know if you were real, i'd hate to think that i've been fooled again*

Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2190

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No matter how well prepared you are, or how comfortable you feel, confusion may still be a part of the after sex jumble. It depends on you as an individual. But to lessen the confusion you should check out the sites handy dandy Sex Readiness Checklist *if I could make a link I would * The bottom line is hun, being educated about your body and your partners, and about sex in general, will make it run more smoothly. And remember always practice safe sex :-D
Posts: 58 | From: Massachusetts, U.S.A. | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1242

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So, as everybody else has already said there's really no short answer to this question. It depends on you and your boyfriend. After reading the readiness checklist:

think about what your own criteria are for deciding to have sex with your boyfriend. Do you feel like need to be in a completely solid relationship in order to have sex? In that case is the relationship solid? Do you personally feel ready? I read something interesting recently in a book called Real Boys' Voices where a seventeen year old guy writes: "I am confused about when I should lose my virginity...Whether it's something that I should be regarding as a big deal, or whether it is something I should just let happen when it happens." If you or anyone else is experiencing this kind of confusion it's probably best to clarify your feelings before you jump into sex.

Posts: 42 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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