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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Well...

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Author Topic: Well...
Member # 4502

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Okay, I don't really know if this is in the right topic, but I'm sure you'll move it if its not Anyway, I don't want to fall in love yet, but I want to have sex. I feel I am ready, but I'm not sure if I should wait until I love the guy. I have a boyfriend who I care about greatly, but I don't love him. I'm all for sex with him (safely) but I'm wondering if I should wait? Any suggestions?
Posts: 7 | From: Gray Court, SC, USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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Well, that's a really really personal question. Generally speaking, love doesn't have to come hand in hand with sex, and sex certainly doesn't have to come hand in hand with love.

Some people may want to wait until they feel they are in love to have sex, some may want to wait until marriage, some may not want sex at all. On the other hand, someone may want to have sex with someone who is cute, or someone who they care about, or someone that cares about them for their first time.

If you feel that you are ready for sex, emotionally and physically, and you know all the consequences good and bad (and you do seem to have a good head on your shoulders and already know all this stuff), then you're ready for sex. Ultimatly, only you an decide what's best for you.

Scarleteen Advocate

"Just say no" fights teen pregnancy the way "hey, cheer up" fights manic depression.

[This message has been edited by Pixie69 (edited 07-11-2001).]

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Pixie is absolutely right. You don't have to be in love with somebody to have sex with them. If you really want to have sex and you think you're completely ready for it, and you have taken the proper precausions to get birth control and all that, then you can make the choice. It's all up to you. (Unless of course, it would be illegal for you to have sex, due to the age of consent laws in your state. It would probably be good to check that out, just in case.)

If you want to make sure you're ready for sex, check these out:


"I could rip your eyelid off..."

"No, Don't do it! I need it to seal my plan.."


"Because it's so devious I need to wink."

[This message has been edited by Lucky1402 (edited 07-11-2001).]

Posts: 492 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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but take into consideration your partner's feelings. what if *he* wants sex only with someone he loves who loves him back? if you don't love him and these are his conditions, you may hurt his feelings very badly. I know it's hard to say "sweetie, i like you and all, but i don't love you." that just sounds bad from square one. but it takes to to tango, so make sure your partner wants to dance.

"And who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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