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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » delicately put...

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Author Topic: delicately put...
Member # 877

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hey guys! I'm in a dilly of a pickle, and i thought i'd ask for some general advice.

My younger brother (17) recently told me that he'd become sexually active. He expressed to me that he REALLY didn't want my mom to know (she think's he's saving himself for marriage). I feel like i should talk to him about sex... but i'm not exactly sure how to go about it.

I don't want to scare him off... but i feel like i NEED to express how careful he has to be, especially since i've got a 5 month old now...

any advice?

Posts: 361 | From: toronto, ontario, canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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Hi Nancy,

what's your relationship with your brother like? Can you see yourself educating him about sex or would you prefer to just send him over here or get him a book?

I think there are lots of things you could do, but it would really depend on how well you get along and all. Considering that he comes to you and tells you he wants to be sexually active shows you two do talk, so that's a good start, I reckon.
I'd use the same tactic that I recommend for general start ups of sex talk find a reason to discuss sex (any reason, really, a TV show, an article you read, or even, well, your own experience and having evan there) and bring your points across and open up for a discussion. If you come to a point where your brother doesn't know something, either offer to explain or (when things would get too personal, maybe) help him get the info he needs. In case you ever shop together, shop for condoms, too, and explain why lube is important.

You know, even with you sitting somewhere together, you having Evan with you, you can tell him that while you are ok with how things are now, you worry about him becoming a young parent too and explain how quickly that can happen. Does he know the details as to how and why your pill failed? If not, tell him. Should bring the "always use condoms thing" across, too. Just be the good older sis that you seem to be anyway.

If it gets uncomfy for him (or you), let other sources, such as our trusted Scarleteen do the job.

Good luck, gal!

(and how have your latest condom experiences been?)

~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"We must become the change we want to see."
Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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