Kitten, I know how you feel. I can be on the Pill, taking it every day at the same time down to the minute, with a condom and rubber gloves and a wetsuit and when that time of the month comes around I'm still biting my fingernails.
in my case, at least, I know it's not STDs. We're clean and monogamous and long-term and everything is okay. but pregnancy - I don't even want to think about it. and sometimes I get so stressed that I make my period late.
but recently, what I do is go over all the facts in my mind: I haven't missed a pill; or, the condom didn't break; or, I wouldn't be ovulating now anyway; or, he wasn't inside me and I washed my hands and I changed my gloves; or whatever. it seems to calm me down.
and then I think about exactly what I would do if I were late, plan out everything to the detail (where is that money going to come from, etc.), and my back-up is that I'm supposed to get my period on Friday, so if I don't get it by Monday, my butt is in Walgreens buying a pregnancy test.
it's the only way I can deal with it; and if ever I can't, I will stop having sex.
~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate
want to know the inner lemming? read her diary at http://innerlemming.diaryland.com/.
"Is love like the sweet, bitter taste of marmalade on burnt toast?"