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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » My girlfriend's mom

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Author Topic: My girlfriend's mom
Member # 3094

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I'm really concerned for my girlfriend because her mom discourages her from going to see a gynecologist. She is 19 years old and has never been to one. Isn't this bad for her health and how do we go about convincing her mom to let her go?
Posts: 9 | From: Niagara University, NY, USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 785

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WHAT??? That is ridiculous. Females over 18 and females who are sexually active NEED to see a gynecologist at least once a year. It is just like anyone going to see a doctor for an annual physical, or a dentist to make sure you don't have any cavities. Do you know why her mom doesn't want her to go? First of all, it's not up to her mom if she goes or not, so tell your girlfriend that she needs to see a gyno, and why. She doesn't need her mother's permission. Gyno visits can detect problems like cervical cancer, endometriosis, even simple yeast infections. It is very important that women see the gynecologist.
Posts: 304 | From: Pittsburgh PA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1194

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That's ridiculous. Are you sure? (Not that I don't believe you.. it's just a little strange) You're girlfriend is 19 years old she can (and should) make her own decisions. Getting to a gyno is a very important one especially if she's sexually active and has never gone before!

"nothing's quite the same now - I just say your name now - but it's not so bad - you're only the best I ever had"

Posts: 543 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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well, there is a cultural element that keeps a lot of women from going to a gyno. some people feel ashamed and discourage that showing of one's "bits" to a complete stranger (even if the stranger is a doctor). some ethnic communities, such as the Hmong/Mien are notorious for this (my firend's mom is a gynecologist in a Hmong/Mien community and she gets very little business). that's too bad because it's an integral part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

are both of you uni students? does your campus have university health services? she can get checked up there and have it be confidential. she's a big girl and can handle herself alright.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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I'm 19 as well. I found my own gyno and have been seeing her for 6 months now. I pay my own bills as well. My parents do not know that I am seeing a gyno.

Mainly because I am not ready to let them know that I am sexually active but I am protecting myself and that is the most important thing at hand.

Try getting your gf to talk to her mum again and let her know that regular checkups are very very important to every woman as it helps determine reproductive and vaginal health.

You might want to check out this link to see if there is anything you can use in this article to persuade your gf's mum.

Your First Gyne Visit

If all else fails, ask your gf to look around for a gyne herself. I'm not too sure what kind of services are available in the States but what's important now is that she gets to a gyne.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
exit seraphim
Member # 2566

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wow...i'm 16 and see a gyno (since i was 15..due to menstruation problems) and my mom took me...i guess cos she's a nurse she understands the importance. but it is very important if your sexually active and over 18 to go.


Posts: 142 | From: H*Ton, NY | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starry Night
Member # 3476

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I'm 18, and until a few months ago, my mom told me that I would have my first gyno visit "right before I got married." Basically, I told my family pediatrician my periods had been weird and I had experienced strange cramping, and she asked if I had ever gone to the gyno. When I said no, she called my mom and told her it was extremely unhealthy that I hadn't gone by now and she had to get over the fact that her daughter was a woman. My mom has put this off for ages and ages, and because the Planned Parenthood is far from me and I didn't want the gyno visit to show up on my insurance, I have put off having sex with my boyfriend for awhile now (need Pill or depo)- and also having someone check out why I have been getting such weird cramping and bleeding. Unhealthy, unhealthy, unhealthy.
Fortunately, I had a visit with a doctor who cleared me for Lupus and blood clots, and my first gyno appt should be in a month or two.

It's just bizarre to me, even though I've experienced it myself, to realize that there are parents who think this way. Makes me very frustrated..your reproductive system is so important throughout your life - why not get it checked out asap?

Posts: 164 | From: U.S.A. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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