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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » desensitized vagina

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Author Topic: desensitized vagina
Member # 2200

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i have a question similar to one recently posted. its embarrassing but i use one of those electric back massager things to get myself off. im addicted to it, i use it at least once every 2 days. when i have sex with my boyfriend though, i cant get off! have i desensitized it?? if i stop using my "thing" will there be a greater chance of me getting off?? my and my boyfriend have tried everything, we have a good relationship, i can be honest with him about what i want, yadda yadda so forth and so on.
Posts: 19 | From: pa, usa | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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Did you used to be able to orgasm with a partner before you used the vibrator? Because, really, using a vibe shouldn't make that much difference to how other sexual activites feel to you. It's possible that right now you just prefer certain sensations to others, or that fear or shame over what you've been doing is the reason behind your problem, but it's incredibly unlikely that there's actually anything wrong. Lots of women use sex toys without shame or adverse effects; there's no reason you shouldn't be able to too.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Good on Milke for everything she just said.

In another post, you described not feeling attracted to your boyfriend, and that in and of itself may be the greater issue here. Arousal is requored for orgasm. if you don't get aroused, you don't get to orgasm, either.

And it's fine to like toys for a while, and you know, if that is what feels best to you with a partner at any given time, all you have to do is use it with your partner if that is what feels good.

Yes, not masturbating for a while, period, can increase the liklihood of orgasm with your partner when you do so. But per usual, sexual partnership is about more than orgasm. And if it's just about getting off, it's probably kindest and best that you use a machine for that, not a person.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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