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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » he fingered me and.....

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Author Topic: he fingered me and.....
Member # 3615

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i was with my boyfriend tongiht and he was fingering me....i have mastrabated befor and it feels great! but when he did it tonight it wasnt like a great feeling but it wasnt bad. he did it for like 5min too. He was doing it jsut like i do when i mastrabate, why didnt i get arroused when he did it?
Posts: 17 | From: West Linn, Oregon, 97068 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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There's a lot of reasons why you might not have gotten as aroused as when you masturbate- the best thing to do is for you to think about it and come up with the answer that sounds right to you, but here are a few possibilities:

-Perhaps you were nervous because you and your partner were trying something new. If this is the case I'd recommend talking to your partner about the sexual activities that you're involving yourselves in.

-Even if you weren't that nervous, it's still trying something new. When you're learning to bake cakes, you often have a few that sink in your first attempts. Certainly you don't expect to be a master chef. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong, especially if you had fun doing it.

-Perhaps you just weren't in the mood- when many people masturbate it's because they are feeling aroused in the first place. Everyone has times when they just don't get aroused however, whether alone or with a partner.

Remember that it's not imperative to have an orgasm every time you engage in sexual activities. If you and your partner are communicating openly, if you're both comfortable with what you're doing, and you're doing it safely, then there's really no problem.

Also remember that I've only given you a few possibilities here- there could have been a bit of each involved, but it could have been none of them- only you can know for sure, since no one here can get inside your mind to know what's going on.

Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3694

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maybe you two just need some practice. it might be a good idea to tell him how you like to be touched or for him to watch you touching yourself (only if you're comfortable with it of course) but getting to know each others bodies is always a good thing.
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Member # 3773

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Hmm that is funny. It is the opposite with me. I barely get a sensation when I finger myself, but it is okay when my bf does it. I have another way of masterbating which I do not wish to share.

<edited by lemming for content>
[b]Tina aka the Queen

[This message has been edited by lemming (edited 05-18-2001).]

Posts: 3 | From: Rochester, NY, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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hey Tina, we ask that people don't post their email addresses on the boards for their personal safety, so just to be safe, could you please edit your signature?

The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3847

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Here's my part: When I try the Clit Rub or anything like that myself, it doesnt do a darn thing. WHen he does it... Wow... And I don't finger myself so i cant help you there. But sometimes I get embarrased around him when he does it and it's not as good. Maybe you're just nervous or embarrassed. Hope I helped!
Posts: 4 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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