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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » How do you get

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Author Topic: How do you get
Member # 2280

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Hey ya'll! Well- this is a really dumb question, but here goes. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about six months and have had intercourse for three months or so. In the beginning he performed oral on me. (Sorry I can't spell the proper term). I was not ready at that time and therefore I did not enjoy it. I was too self-conscious of the look, smell... I am more self-confident now,and I would like for him to try again.
The problem is that he has not even attempted to "go down" again since that night. I do not know if it is because he did not like it at all or he doesn't think that I want him to. I perform oral on him all the time, but I would still feel very selfish if I asked him to "return the favor." Do ya'll have any suggestions?? Thankx
Runnerchik <><

I hope this is not too graphic???

Posts: 3 | From: college station, tx usa | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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guess what i'm gonna say ... give up? communicate!!!

pretty simple. It's not too much to ask your boy, "Hey, if it's okay with you, I'd really like to try this again. Y'know, give it another shot?"

if he says no, then sorry, i can't help you there. but make your wants and intentions known. you're right to not demand reciprocation esp when it's for the sake of getting some in return. but if this is what you'd like to try, that'll take some talk between you and your boyfriend.

and don't forget the cling film

Inspected by Number 26

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2232

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if you ask me, it would be kind of selfish of him if he says no simply because he doesnt want to do anything. if you've performed with him so many times, i dont see why he wouldn't want to with you.

but on the flip side...maybe he's nervous about "going down" he might nEEd encouraging.

peace, love, & seXwax!

Posts: 117 | From: Honolulu, HI | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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HOnestly, it is not about being selfish. Would you be happy knowing your guy was doing something he hated or disliked?

Oral sex is not the answer to great sex. Communication is. If your partner really doesn't like oral sex, there are tonnes of other stuff you can do.

But in your case, I think he might just think you don't like it. So take Gumdrop's advice and communicate with him. And if he doesn't like it, tell him what else you like and you guys could have even more fun. Gd luck.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 968

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Throw me in the "talk to him" pile.

Don't pressure him, just ask him.

You are what you eat?
But I don't even LIKE nuts!

Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2226

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Through me in the "ask him pile" too. I was the same way, I didn't go back down on my girlfriend because I though that she didn't like it and it bthered her when I went down there. Then she finally asked me to do it again becasue she liked it. ASK ASK ASK. Thats all you have to do.
Posts: 88 | From: Canton, Ohio, USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Add me to the "Talk to Him" list. No matter what a wonderful person he is, he's probably not psychic, so he doesn't know what you want unless you somehow indicate it to him. If you were really uncomfortable with it the first time he did it, then chances are he could tell that. And if he cares about you, then he probably doesn't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable at all. So I'd definately say that you should talk to him about it. But I would suggest that you should make sure that there isn't any pressure, and be honest with him. Make sure that you explain that when he did it the first time that he didn't do anything wrong...that you just weren't ready for that, but you'd like to try again now, if he's willing.


"Intelligence is like underwear. We all should have it but we shouldn't show it off."
~James Dent

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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