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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasm during intercourse

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Author Topic: Orgasm during intercourse
PinkSoda
Neophyte
Member # 1714

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Im new on this board. Anyway, i read one of the replies somewhere on this site which mentioned that only half or less of the women come by the actual act of intercourse. I myself have never encountered that and require external stimulation. Is it hopeless or is there hope that the sacred G-spot will be found one day?And do guys feel very disappointed if they cant make their partners come by intercourse?
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Pixie69
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Hmm, I'm not sure what you're saying. You've never had an orgasm during intercourse (and you need clitoral stimulation) just like the majority of women. Yeah, it's pretty common Although there are some people who can only orgasm during intercourse and find clitoral stimulation (is that even a real word for it??) to be painful, some of them are even on this board.

I have no clue about the G-spot, hopefully someone else can help you out there.

I'm sure that there are some guys who feel dissapointed and some who don't, it's different for everyone. If my partner had a jolly good time but didn't orgasm I wouldn't feel THAT bad - even if I did. Because it's all about that jolly good time, lol. I especially wouldn't feel bad if they didn't orgasm during intercourse because there are sooo many other ways for them to come, eh?

Brittany

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Ron
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Everyone is different and so practically everyone will have something else to say about this subject. My partner has a difficult time having organism during intercourse. But she says that is what feels best and is most safisfying. So I've taken some time to study this issue a bit. There are some anatomical aspects, but that is very particular to each woman, so its important to explore together, as we always say on scarleteen.

One thing I have noticed is that psychology plays a huge role. The feelings you have really make a difference as to how easily you have a climax. Under some circumstances (like after being apart awhile!) it seems to happen without much effort whereas other times is a lot of work (!) and still most times it requires some other method for her to actually achieve orgasm.

Building up to it makes a big difference. And I don't mean just foreplay, but the hours and days before making love, how the relationship is and the closeness you feel. Its really a total experience and its probably not a good idea to focus just on certain moments--orgasm, intercourse--but be sensitive to the whole flow of the relationship. I say this especially for men.

[This message has been edited by Ron (edited 22 October 2000).]


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Hanne
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There is nothing "sacred" about the G-spot. Sorry, but there just isn't. It is NOT guaranteed to give you an orgasm. Some women enjoy having their g-spots stimulated, some don't.

But really, the thing to know here is that the so-called "G-spot" is really just the other end of your clitoris, basically. The clitoris that is outside of your body is the top end of what's called the clitoral sponge, a spongy mass of tissue loaded with nerves. It goes down inside your body from your clitoris to just above the upper wall of your vagina, an inch or so inside the vagina. If you place a finger inside your vagina with the pad of your fingertip aimed up toward your belly button and make a "come here" motion with your finger, you may be able to feel it. It might feel firm and a little wrinkly or ridged, like a walnut or something.

Anyhow: the clitoral sponge goes from clitoris to just above the vaginal wall, wrapping around the urethra. Stimulating the bottom end of it -- the "g-spot" -- can be pleasurable for some women. For other women, it just makes them feel like they have to pee! For still others, it may be too sensitive and may be painful. You can experiment on your own by stroking the "roof" of your own vagina when you masturbate and seeing how that feels for you.
It is not a guarantee of instant orgasm. Nothing is.

Having orgasms primarily from clitoral stimulation is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. It's pretty common and usual and normal and okay. Combining clitoral stimulation and penetration is a pretty good idea for many (if not most) women.

But as Ron says -- orgasms, no matter what part o fyour body you or a partner stimulates -- come from being aroused, and be ing aroused comes primarily from your brain. Arousal is a mental state way way before it becomes a physical state. Keep that in mind, and you'll probably do just fine with the rest of it.

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Hanne Blank
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bluedreams
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What does it mean when you dont have an orgasm during sex???? Is there something wrong with you???
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Milke
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Nothing sacred about the G-spot? Ha, we've got a small shrine with incense and sitars devoted to it. But seriously, I have one suggestion, though it's slightly weird. I find that orgasm from intercourse tends to occur only when penetration doesn't, that is, if you feel like you're ready to climax, if you can get your guy to get out for just a second it's a lot more likely to happen. I don't know why it's so, only that this is what I've experienced. And if you can't come from intercourse, it hardly means there's something wrong with you, only the influences you've got!
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Dzuunmod
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I'm just curious, Milke, as to what you mean by influences in this context.
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Hanne
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No, honey, there is NOTHING wrong with you if you don't have an orgasm from intercourse. There are a whole lot of ways to have orgasms. Intercourse is only one of them. Not having an orgasm from intercourse might mean it's not really the ideal kind of stimulation for *you* and *your body* -- and it might mean you weren't relaxed -- or it might mean that you would've preferred a different kind of stimulation that time -- or it might mean that you were preoccupied thinking about something else -- or a million other things.

Think of it like dessert. Is there something WRONG with you because you don't go completely crazy over a piece of chocolate cake? Nope. Sometimes you're not hungry. Sometimes you would rather have lemon cake. Sometimes you'd rather have ice cream. Sometimes you're on a diet. Sometimes you've just eaten too much at dinner and think you'd puke if you had dessert. There's nothing *wrong* with any of that. It's just normal. People can react in a huge number of ways to dessert -- and people can react in just as huge a number of ways to sex. It's all okay.

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Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!


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Milke
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Dzuunmod, by influences here I meant the people that you get your sexual information, and some standards from. A lot of the girls I'm around would be surprised that any female would even care whther she came or not, and some other people do feel very strongly that orgasms should come only from intercourse. These standards may not be right for everyone -- or anyone, but when you're exposed to them enough they can begin to seem normal and reasonable.
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glitter695
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Its not true that it depends on the guys penis size to get an orgasm is it?? I mean my friend told me that if a guy is smaller than average does that mean they wont get an orgasm or is this a sexual myth??
and
Does it just take tome for your body to ajust to intercourse is that why women dont get orgasm right away??

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Heather
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No, no, no no and no.

What you need to realize is that intercourse, in some positions, only gives direct stimulation to the vaginal canal, which for a majority of women, is not the most sexually sensitive part of their sexual anatomy, the clitoris -- which is above the vaginal opening -- is.

It isn't about getting used to anything. It's about giving stimulus to the most sensitive areas of your anatomy. Now, most women can figure out positions for intercourse that DO stimulate the clitoris, like being on top, or in the missionary position, tilting your pelivs so that pressure is applied to the entire vulva. Or, you add on to intercourse by also having manual sex during intercourse, et cetera, et cetera.

The size of a mans penis has but squat to do with any of this.


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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
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blah blah blah, everyone has pretty much said it about orgasms and stuff, but here's my two cents:

the Grafenberg Spot (or G-Spot) is located in the lower one-third of the vagina -- closer to the opening. the paraurethral gland is situated right behind the vaginal wall at this location. the paraurethral gland is the female homologue of the prostate gland. **some** women find that stimulation of the paraurethral gland (the G-Spot) is pleasurable (i.e., orgasmic).

because the G-spot is located so shallowly in the vagina, it doesn't take a very long penis to stimulate it. moral of the story: size doesn't matter. also, because it's not all that deep inside, it can be reached with fingers during manual sex.

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