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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » 1st Experience

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Author Topic: 1st Experience
Member # 528

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Someone's in love...

And, it's me.
((And my boyfriend who's sitting here with me right now))

In fact, I've been in love with one great and *uniquely* considerate and loving guy for quite awhile. I've posted topics about our relationship before, but this topic holds a new development

My partner and I are very open with each other—in many ways. We are open with each other mentally, emotionally, and physically and there's absolutely nothing that we feel we can't share with each other.

Sex, well, anything sexual in regards to us, is something we easily and quite often talk about. Just about a month ago we had oral sex and it was a great experience. I was sort of nervous when it was about to happen, because it was my first time doing anything like that, as well as his. But, I got over that right away because we communicate so well and we love each other.

We were planning on holding off on sex for awhile, but we're both ready. And, we've decided. I don't think we'll be changing our minds. We have prepared and prepared over and over to make sure we are ready (a big thumbs up to Miz Scarlet's checklist + First Intercourse Article + other great resources of info)...We have read this site and other sites extensively, as we are responsible and curious individuals

Anyways, on 0ctober 6th, we've made reservations at a fancy hotel in San Francisco (the charge per night is $270!) and that night, we both want to share every single part of ourselves with each other.

We both agreed that there was a slight lack of spontaneity, but we both want our first time to be taken slow, and also free of interruptions. It would be really hard for us have to do otherwise, because we'd only get a maximum of 5 hours together. (Because of Parents, Siblings, etc)

The reason why I posted this in the first place is, well, for a couple of reasons.

1) I'm worried about the protection issue. Condoms will be used, and I am on birth control pills (for 3 months now), but of course, I think I should still be concerned.

(I posted about this before, and sorry for the repeat of questions, but I am just trying to get some reassurance.)

I realize no solid statistic or percentage can be given to me regarding the risk of pregnancy, but let's talk realistically.
In your opinion, do you think I'm just worrying too much? I just want to be safe as I can be.

2) Are there any tips/suggestions/comments, etc. that you could give me/us? I'm not looking for tips on sexual technique, but tips on the whole night itself. It's going to be very romantic and I'm not expecting a whole lot. We just want the both of us to be able to spend our time together and "share" ourselves, as opposed to "giving away" our virginities. Some stories + personal experience would be a big help, too

Wish us the best of luck and I hope all you are doing great


Posts: 53 | From: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 353

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sounds like you have found the perfect man!!

i don't really have any tips to help make the night perfect cuz i figure if you are together and you are sharing your first can't get any better than that.the reason why i say that is cuz i lost my virginity at the park.... and to ME it was the perfect evening b/c of the person i was with.

~*GoDdEsS oF lOvE aNd BeAuTy*~

JaMeS & DoReEn 4eVeR

Posts: 269 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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From what you've said, it really sounds like you have a good attitude about all of this, and are prepared to relax and enjoy yourselves.

Especially the part about "not expecting too much" - pressure can have bad effects sexually. But as long as both of you realize that just being with each other is fulfilling, you will have a wonderful night. ;] Congratulations.

~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

"This was a Pizza Hut, now it's all covered in daisies..." ~Talking Heads, in "Nothing But Flowers"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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Wow. Sounds like you're planning for a really wonderful time. I wish you two the best.

The only suggestion I can think of is to remember to keep talking to each other. From your post, it definitely sounds like you're comfortable communicating with each other, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

I've found that in my experience, checking in with partners before/during/after sexual experiences, especially ones that are new or really intense, helps to reassure both of us and to learn more about each other. That doesn't mean that you have to analyze it to death; just "hey, how are you?" is sometimes all that's needed.

Good luck and may everything go safely and happily.


PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there
is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. -- Dave Barry

Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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The pill should take care of pregnancy, the condom takes care of STD's, just don't forget the water-based lubrication and I don't think you can get any safer.

Now for the night, can't give you any tips on that. Yeah it does lack spontanity, but it should still be special. If I were you I'd bring up some food or order roomservice or something because just walking into the room, hopping on the bed and going at it doesn't seem that romantic to me. Eating will relax you and give both of you opporunities o initiate it, which is kind of spontaneous. May I recomend not getting anything garlicy? Lol. Good luck to you both!


Dude, just smile and pass the zen margaritas...

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 528

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Thanks to all of you guys who replied so far

Yeah, we weren't just planning on showing up and "getting to it". We've got plans to relax, light candles, eat, watch movies, tell each other how much we feel for each other, and spend time before doing *anything*. In fact, giving each other full body massages and time in the jacuzzi is in order.

We're known to take things slow, which is why we have made sure we have just more then 24 hours to be together on that night.

Thanks again...Awesome replies


Posts: 53 | From: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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