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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » fun things other than sex?

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Author Topic: fun things other than sex?
Fairy G
Member # 1121

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ok so as fun as i'm sure sex is, i personally know i'm not ready for intercourse, which is all fine and good, the only thing is i'm running out of idea's of other fun sexual things to do that will keep my urges at bay, i've had dry sex, cyber sex, phone sex, mutual masturbation and me and my boyfrind are talking about oral sex, but there have to be other things two horny kids can do, but i'm afiraid i'm going to kinda look like a dork if we start experimenting and i have no idea what i'm doing, just cause i like to feel more in control, but any-way, so please help me with any and all suggestions, thanks a bunch,
Fairy G

Posts: 5 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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There are a lot of things you can do without having intercourse. Keep doing the things you're doing, but add little twists. Experiment with food and stuff. Try different foreplay (a massage with baby oil anyone? yuM!) I haven't had any kind of sex either (besides masturbation, of course) and I have to say, I don't think it's that hard.

Remember your first kiss? You were probably really nervous about doing it right, but it probably didn't turn out THAT bad, and with practice it just got better. So if something doesn't work and you want it to, try different ways until it gets better. I doubt your partner will deny you the pleasure of leanring how to give great oral sex!


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 145

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Why don't you vary what your already doing???
I waited till I had sex with my boyfriend recently and for the 4 months before that we tried lots of stuff. You could try going somewhere different if your the adventreous type...but be careful!!
Have fun and be careful, sometimes the little things can turn you on so much...I'm at the same point as you now as I've done everything (well lots of stuff) and I'm like...well where do I go from here!

How will it work out?
I don't's a mystery.

Posts: 109 | From: Birmingham, West Midlands, UK | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Pixie, I've been meaning to tell you lately that your advice to others has been fantastic. Thanks for helping.

Do remember, Fairy, that intercourse is intercourse. It isn't "sex." Lots of things can be sex.

Think about it this way: if intercourse is all that's "left" to you, what are you going to do once that's done? Sex isn't about a single path leading in one express direction (to intercourse, which -- I don't know how many times I can say it -- isn't the grand finale a lot of people make it sound like). It is a continuum of a million different things you and your partner(s) can do with one another, and that can vary every single time you do them.

In addition, your "urges" really are YOUR responsibility. When we have partnered sex, it should be about our urges less, and about who we're with more. If your libido is just running high, that is what masturbation is for, not a partner.

No one gets graded on sex. Finding out new thinmgs to do, and what feels good isn't something to be embarassed about, that is the WHOLE fun of sex. To be painfully honest with you, why most couples get in a rut with sexuality is because they come to it thinking it is about learning how to perform. So, once they have mastered a handful of acts together, they have NO idea where to go. Think outside of the box.

We all have limitless imaginations. We should use them. That aside, what you'll find as you grow is that sometimes the best "sex" isn't what most people think of as sex at all. Doing other things with your partner and holding on to that feeling of hunger and anticipation can be a thousand times more arousing and interesting than constantly trying to feed it.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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there's nothing dorky about experimenting sexually. you find out a lot of stuff about yourself and your partner when you try something new.
IMHO, the only way to be seriously dorky in bed is to be inhibited, not communicating with your partner. then he/she tends to get the idea that you're not enjoying yourself or he/she is doing something wrong.

if you're looking for alternatives to intercourse, i'd have to say i'm in favor of cuddling. honestly, if i had to give up all other forms of sex today, i'd be perfectly content with cuddling.

i think you're special ... and i don't mean that in a short bus kind of way

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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