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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex on top

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Author Topic: Sex on top
Member # 548

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My boyfriend and I have been having sex a while now, and recently I was the one on top. I'm not sure exactly how to do this, and I'm afraid I did it wrong. Its a little embarresing to say that I don't know how to have sex, but I don't! What do I do to make it feel good, how do I sit, how do I move up and down, et cetera???
Posts: 10 | From: Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No one can tell you that but you, because we are all made differently. Even if we could, we couldn't. We cannot address sexual technique at Scarleteen. Please review the guidelines.

The truth is, no one comes to sex really knowing what to do because it differs with every single person. As you experience sex with the same partner over a number of times and try different things, you'll discover what works best for the two of you. Until then, there isn't any need to be embarassed. Discovering what feels good and what "works" is half the joy of sex.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 78

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I'd like to share a little example to explain one of the reasons why we can't give you a "how-to" when it comes to sexual positions and techniques. We are all different shapes, proportions and sizes. How you match up with your partner based on those things, as well as what you find stimulating and arousing, will determined what kinds of things you find comfortable and pleasant. By experimenting with your parnter(s), you can discover what feels right for you.
Posts: 1060 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 528

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I'm with Bettie and Miz Scarlet on this. No techniques can be given because, first of all it's against the guidelines. Second of all, Bettie's right—we are all different shapes and sizes and feel and experience things in different ways.

What may work and be arousing for one person, might not necessarily work for another.

What I'd suggest is talking to your partner. After all, he is your sexual partner and communication should be a priority. Let him know how you're feeling. When the time comes again and you're in a situation where you feel embarassed or uncomfortable, speak up about it.

You could say something like, "You know, I'm not sure about doing this. I don't really know WHAT to do." If your partner is anything worth your time, he would understand and work with you.

Next time the two of your are having intercourse, oral sex, etc..Ask him what he likes. Experiment. Truthfully, I don't think he'd get "mad" or "annoyed". And if he does, a stop needs to be put to that.

So, with that, good luck and if you want, keep us updated.


[This message has been edited by mcb3 (edited August 24, 2000).]

Posts: 53 | From: San Francisco Bay Area, CA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 533

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right on! comunication works wonders.

Jenny kissed me when we met, jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get sweets into your list, put that in:
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad, say that health and wealth have missed me, say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kissed me.
-Leigh Hunt

Posts: 88 | From: Los angeles,Ca,USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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