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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Didn't do much for me...

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Author Topic: Didn't do much for me...
Member # 145

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Today I had sex for the first time and thanks to your advice it went well. It did hurt but I waited until I was ready and I don't regret it.
I had two questions though:
When his penis first enters me it really hurts but then it doesn't when he's inside, is this normal...or just first time experience. It happened the second time as well. How can I stop this?
Also does it get any better. I felt happy emotionly but physically it wasn't much for me and when it just started to get good..he came! It was nice, but didn't really make me wanna curl my toes I've never had an orgasm from intercourse, oral or manual stimulation (by him) is this normal?? I have had orgasms but only from masturbation... Don't get me wrong I love him loads and it feels nice, but am I doing something wrong?

How will it work out?
I don't's a mystery.

Posts: 109 | From: Birmingham, West Midlands, UK | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 607

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I would say your first experience was pretty much normal. I remember after my first time thinking, "That was it!?" But as far as hurting, I have had sex much more than once and sometimes it still hurts a little bit at first, but mostly if I'm tense. It takes a while to loosen up because you have so much anticipation the first few times but it sounds like that's what could be happening. Did you use enough lubrication? That always helps too!

And I too have had less than a handful of orgasms from my boyfriend, it takes some practice. I try to show him what feels best and so forth, he does the same with me. You two will find something that works the more comfortable you become with eachother. I could go on and on with tips for you but I'll end here, just enjoy eachother!

And remember to use CONDOMS and if you are having sex frequently, some sort of birth control as well!

"Healing takes courage and we all have courage. Even if we have to die a little to find it."

Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26

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It's very rare to orgasm when you lose your vigninity, and sometimes there is pain no matter how much you prepare.
I didn't ever orgasm with my first boyfriend, who I was with a year.. and only now, with my boyfriend of 2 years have I been able to every time. It's different for everyone, just give it time, you have plenty of time to get used to sex first..

***DISCLAIMER*** All advice received from me should be used at YOUR OWN RISK. I am in no way responsible for the advice that I give. I only give my opinions to the situation. It is up to you to do what you feel is the right thing.

Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 589

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Don't worry, you're absolutely normal. My first experience wasn't that great either... I remember thinking afterwards, "That was it? This is what all the hype is about? Geez, that was nothing." I was greatly disappointed but I didn't regret it.

For me, it did much improve from my first few experiences. I'm still with the same guy . What we do now is experiment with lots of different positions... you should try that. I like certain postions more than others. Some feel great while others are simply okay.

But before you do any of this, stop making an orgasm as your goal. Intercourse, as with any other sexual activity feels so much more wonderful when you're relaxed and not willing yourself to orgasm. Don't think about it, just enjoy all the sensations and you might just find yourself climaxing. And if you don't... so what. You can always do it again. Just because you didn't orgasm, it doesn't mean that you or your partner is a sexual failure.


Posts: 681 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 3

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All of these posts are excellent.

I'm just going to mention again that MOST women (nearly all of them) do NOT experience orgasm from intercourse alone. Not the first time, not the 101st. Usually, orgasm is a result of mental and physical arousal and clitoral stimualtion, or a combination of intercourse with clitoral stimulation. There isn't a thing you're doing wrong, save expecting that intercourse is the be-all end-all grand finale of sex, which it isn't. Intercourse for women is far more about intimacy and about arousal than about orgasm.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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