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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I broke my hymen, but i'm still a virgin

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Author Topic: I broke my hymen, but i'm still a virgin
DeeLeisha
Neophyte
Member # 1002

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Alright, i'm 15 and i'm a virgin, but I have been fingered by members of the same and opposite sex.How can i be totally sure if my hymen is broken? Because I know the hymen is broken when you lose your virginity, but for some reason I think mine is already. If my hymen is already broken will it make sex less painful for my first time?
Posts: 2 | From: Laredo, TX | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I have to be honest with you: this question -- exactly -- has been asked and explained so many times that when I go to sleep, I silently curse the idiot man who came up with the whole concept of virginity. I really do.

Long, long ago, before modern science when we understood how women's bodies worked, people thought that the hymen had something to do with intercourse and a woman's chastity. We have known for some time that that isn't so. The hymen doesn't break, nor does it rip. From birth -- if you even have one, many owmen do not -- it slowly erodes over time, and more so when you use tampons or perform some semblance of physical activity. Most young women aren't going to be breaking a hymen during first intercourse, unless they (there are about 1 in 200 like this) have one that didn't erode properly, in which case a doctor needs to fix that, or unless they have never moved a muscle in their lives. Intercourse, manual sex ("fingering") masturbation and the like can stretch those tissues more. Some women have pain during first intercourse because it gets stretched a bit more harshly than they're used to, or because they aren't well lubricated.

but none of that has squat to do with virginity, which isn't a medical iissue. Virginity is something long ago that someone came up with in order to make some new brides more valuable than others, thus procuring their family greater land and income when marrying off their daughters. Whether you consider yourself a virgin or not (and it is commonly defined as first having intercourse or penetration) is up to you. period. There is no clinical definition because it is an archaic cultural term, not a medical one.

You're better to throw it the heck away and stop using it, if you ask me, because it only demeans people, unless you like to think of yourself as property upon which a price can be put.

If, like most active women, your hymen is a bit more strteched, and if you're adequately lubricated, intercourse really isn't all that painful, and if it is, something is up (like you weren't aroused enough first, you aren't using lube, your partner is an oaf, you've had past sexual trauma, or you have a hymen that aa doctor needs to look at).


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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One more thing.

We have an extensive article about virginity (what it means and what it doesn't) here: http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/pages/virginity.html


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DeeLeisha
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Member # 1002

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Thanks Miz Scarlet for clearing this up for me, I have been completely misinformed about this, and I really wish teachers would cover this in sex-ed. Thanks a bunch ;}
Posts: 2 | From: Laredo, TX | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You and me both, Dee.

You know, you guys are always more than welcome to print out ANY of our articles and bring them to your sex ed classes or teachers. More times than not, those teachers operate from a set curriculum, and have learned the curriculum, and have their own experiences to add, but may not know other things.

Any good sex ed teacher (and many of them are) is going to be interested in what their STUDENTS want to know.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mophead
Activist
Member # 7

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Oh, I will...

"*ahem*

The Miracle of Masturbation
by Heather Corinna"

I'd do it, too.

------------------
My menstrual diary
Updated as often as my uterus


Posts: 752 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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