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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex really, REALLY hurts.

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Author Topic: Sex really, REALLY hurts.
Astarte
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Member # 671

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I have somewhat of a problem. I just recently became sexually active with my boyfriend whom I love. Our first time hurt a LOT, and because I was so tight, it hurt him, too. After a while, I was able to tolerate full penetration, but somewhat uncomfortably. We ended up stopping before he reached orgasm.

We tried again two days later, and again, it hurt a LOT... not quite as much as the first time, but close. After that, we weren't physical for a while since we were both so busy, and we just recently tried again, last night. Same thing: it hurts me a lot and feels really, really uncomfortable the entire time.

I'm actually a big fan of sexual touching, and we both love oral sex, which is definitely a good thing. But I'd like to be able to make love with him without pain, and he says that as long as it's hurting me, he doesn't want to do it. (He says that it's just not fun if I'm hurting.) It's sweet of him, but how am I supposed to get used to it if we don't have sex? He suggested buying a vibrator, which I'm cool with... would that help?

Thanks in advance.

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--Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.--


Posts: 34 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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A few questions before I know how to answer this:

- Are you using an additional lubricant with your condom?
- Are you engaging in a good deal of foreplay before intercourse?

(And your partner sounds like an excellent guy)


Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Astarte
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Heh... sorry.

-Yes, we're using additional lubricant, but we could be using more.

-Yes, lots and lots of foreplay... sex is generally not the first thing we do. He always goes down on me at least once beforehand.

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--Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.--


Posts: 34 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Okay, so next step.

Why not try working sloly into it with fingers (yours or his) next time before intercourse? Start with one, and if that's comfortable, add another. If using three is okay, and you do it all slowly, it SHOULD help.

Now and then there are other issues that can make this difficult. Do you use tampons comfortably?


Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
WildChica
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I had the same problem the first few times I had sex. And it always hurts a little the first time we engage in intercourse after we haven't done it in a little while. Some women are tighter than others, so make sure you're completely comfortable and relaxed, because if you're nervous, or worried about it hurting, your vaginal muscles with involunteerily(sp?) tighten up, and that can make sex painful.

Hope I helped.

J.

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"Her laugh turned to a moan at the first ripple in her bones.
She tensed her thighs and abdomen to will the change on, and
clutched the night air like a lover as her fingers lengthened
and her nails sprouted...The night, she thought, the sweet night"


Posts: 87 | From: San Jose, CA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StarryRedhead
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This sounds farmiliar, I have the same problem sometimes. I have been sexually active since I was 14, I'm 19 now and sometimes it STILL hurts! I have a problem with being too dry and tight.

My boyfriend and I usually are very big on foreplay, messaging, kissing, oral sex, and he also will insert his fingers until they slip in without pain....then we begin, hehe. Going slow and not rushing has really helped because it relaxes me and also can be very erotic and romantic. And lubricant does wonders! I felt really dissappointed when sex didn't become enjoyable right away but you CAN work with it......just enjoy eachother and have fun! Your boyfriend sounds like mine did, so I know he's more than willing to be patient and supportive, lots of luck!

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}{*Starry*}{
"Healing takes courage and we all have courage. Even if we have to die a little to find it."


Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Astarte
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Member # 671

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Thanks, everyone, all the advice really helped. I got my hands on some AstroGlide, and it helped SO much! Now it just huts for the first 5 or 10 seconds or so, and my boyfriend is always careful... and then it stops hurting at all and starts feeling really good. Thank yall so much!

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--Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.--


Posts: 34 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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