Let me say this much: in hindsight, and after talking to my parents now that I'm long grown, I can count on one hand the secrets I actually managed to keep from both of them, none of which were about anything important.
In other words, unless you're an actor worthy of an Oscar, most parents who haven't been told by their kids that they are sexually active have a pretty good idea already. It's not that hard to figure out, especially when you're an adult.
So, would you rather your parents know you're lying to them, or be honest? me, I'd rather be honest, and besides, considering your parents are responsible for you and your health, unless your health is literally in jeapordy by telling them (if they'll beat or harm you in some way) it only seems fair to them TO tell them.
And one of the things about being really ready for sex anyway is being ready to be honest and mature, and in my book, telling the truth is a big part of that.
Let me add this: when I was in my teens and sexually active it was NOT okay with my mother, and I did, in fact, get hurt regularly by my stepfather in part because of it. But the way it ended up working out was that I was allowed to do what I wanted given certain conditions, some of which were reeasonable, some of which were unreasonable, and I ended up leaving home. Now, there is obviously a far longer story here of which my sexual life was only a part, but I think a lot of epople don't often realize how very6 many things parents do to contribute to your being able to BE sexually active.
Once I had to get jobs in addition to school, pay for my own health care and birth control and the whole nine yards, lemme tell you, even having the time to have sex was incredibly difficult.
So, to wind down an overly long post, the gig is that we really owe anyone who is respecting us the same respect. if they aren't affording us care and respect, it's clearly a different ball game, but MOST of the parents of the posters here seem like pretty excellent folks.