I want to go on the birth control pill, because me a my bf are getting more serious, but my mom dosen't know that I am having any kind of sex, and she would kill me if she knew. The thing is I really want to go on the pill, but I don't want to tell my mom that I am having sex. I have read that you can go on it if you have real bad cramps from your period, I thought I could tell her that?? but what if they give me some other kind of medicine, do they??? I really cannot tell my mom I am having sex, she lost her virginity young and had my brother when she was 17 and dosen't want the same thing to happen to me, so she forbids me from having sex, its a long story but She would not accept me having sex and she would not let me go on the pill. I really don't want to get pregnant, so I don't know what to do, Please help with advice.
Posts: 89 | From: Newton, NC, USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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Celise, Obviously, I'm not going to encourage you to lie to your mother. But I'm also not going to prattle on about it, because it sounds to me like you already know the deal. Even when it's tough, you should always tell the truth. You know that's the right thing to do. End of lecture.
You do not need parental permission to be on the pill. Call a Planned Parenthood clinic local to your area. Most clinics have sliding scales. Now, IF your mother were to call the clinic you go to and ask for your information, they DO have to give it to her, and she has a right to have it. Understand that.
But saying you have cramps when you don't, and lying to a DOCTOR is a very, very bad idea and you put your health at risk, as well as the doctors own ethics and practices, which just isn't fair to do to someone who is acting to protect your health, especially at what it usually a discounted rate. It isn't about them not playing into your game, it's about respecting their profession and the service they provide you.
Also, you should still be using condoms, even when/if you're on the pill. They'll tell you that at the clinic.
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited July 28, 2000).]
I would also think that your mom might be pretty glad to hear that you're thinking ahead so that you *don't* end up pregnant at 17. Obviously your mom knows that teenagers do have sex. She also knows that it's possible to prevent pregnancy and STDs. And she should also know -- because you should tell her -- that you, her daughter, have learned from the things she has taught you about sex and the potential problems of having a baby when you're not ready.
In other words, don't lie to her. There is NO good reason to lie to her. Go get your Pills anonymously at a clinic if you like, but if your mom asks you about 'em, be brave and tell her the truth... and be sure to preach what you're going to practice, and say "Well, Mom, we use condoms every time, and I'm on the Pill because I want to make sure that I don't get pregnant unless I want to, and I want to make sure that neither of us get sick. You taught me that responsibility was important."
No, your mom may not be thrilled to pieces that you're having sex. But she'd be a hell of a lot less thrilled to find out -- the hard way -- that you were having sex without taking appropriate precautions. And, all in all, she might not be glad you're having sex, but she's bound to at least be glad that you're doing your best not to get pregnant or sick.
My advice is to be brave and tell her! Moms can be much more understanding than you think, and can offer loads of help and advice. My mom was very understanding about the whole issue, and even helped me get birth controls!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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