Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » BF wants to eat me out but I hate my body...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: BF wants to eat me out but I hate my body...
*ShellerBabe*
Activist
Member # 252

Icon 9 posted      Profile for *ShellerBabe*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
my new bf already wants to eat me out! i certainly don't mind and all, but i hate my body(my tummy and thighs are like chubby) and i have told him that before but he keeps saying"no your not i dont wanna hear it" but i am and im embarrassed for him to see my fatness! and my **** are like pointyish, only round when hard, Also since this will be my first time getting eaten out and fingered, i hope it dont smell down there! please help thanks
Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bizob
Activist
Member # 124

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bizob     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know exactly how you feel, i have basically the same dilemma. My boyfriend tells me constantly that im not fat, but i've never been comfortable with my body. We've been going out for about 9 months and it's still hard.
Posts: 40 | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sallynha
Activist
Member # 312

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sallynha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, I feel exactly the same way you do about my body, and my bf reacts in the same way as yours about the situation, but I know I am not thin and perfect as he says... so I don't feel very comfortable with him if I don't have that many clothes on... we have been messing around and masterbating a lot though... still we haven't "moved on" to other subjects partly because of my atitude... I don't really have any advice for you, I'm sorry, otherwise I'd take them too ya know, i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and in my opinion it's perfectly normal to feel this way, as I assume he's your first bf, or at least the 1st one you get more intimate with... just try to relax and you'll slowly get more comfortable with him... that's what's been happening with me... slowly but I'll get there! Take care and stay safe!!

------------------
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~~~~~Sallynha~~~~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sallynha
Activist
Member # 312

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sallynha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, I feel exactly the same way you do about my body, and my bf reacts in the same way as yours about the situation, but I know I am not thin and perfect as he says... so I don't feel very comfortable with him if I don't have that many clothes on... we have been messing around and masterbating a lot though... still we haven't "moved on" to other subjects partly because of my atitude... I don't really have any advice for you, I'm sorry, otherwise I'd take them too ya know, i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and in my opinion it's perfectly normal to feel this way, as I assume he's your first bf, or at least the 1st one you get more intimate with... just try to relax and you'll slowly get more comfortable with him... that's what's been happening with me... slowly but I'll get there! Take care and stay safe!!

------------------
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~~~~~Sallynha~~~~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SeeMeSwim
Neophyte
Member # 509

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SeeMeSwim     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
One thing that you can do that I did was try to make him talk to you about it. When I finally got him to say something more that "you're not fat" we started to get somewhere. Explain to him how you feel and it will not only make you closer emotionally but it will also make you a little bit more comfortable and confident about yourself. Take if slow don't rush... do it when you are sure you want to do it. Good Luck

------------------
Never Give Up... Someone will always care


Posts: 20 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ThunderCloud16
Activist
Member # 510

Icon 5 posted      Profile for ThunderCloud16     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know this is a very dumb question, but I was wondering what exactly is "eat me out"? and how is it done?
Posts: 74 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Naddie
Neophyte
Member # 511

Icon 14 posted      Profile for Naddie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think that you're uncomfortable with him because you've only just gotten together, you said he's your new boyfriend. I think you need to be with a guy for a while before you let him go down on you, as it's a lot more personal than giving head to a guy.
I have the exact same problem to you. I've always had a weight problem especially in my thighs and my butt. And I've got those strange breasts that are kind of pointy with those weird-*** nipples. Plus, I'm always worried about the smell in my downstairs department.
I've been with my boyfriend for 6mths now, and I love him. I've found that being naked with him is a worry at first, but I've learnt to sort of let go. If he wants to go down on you, it's his choice. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to do it again. My boyfriend hates the taste, but he likes the effect he has on me while licking me out, so he does it anyway.
If you can relax, and not worry so much about what he thinks you'll be alright. And once you do it the first time, I promise you honey, you'll never pass up the chance again. It's sooooo awesome!

Posts: 3 | From: Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Activist
Member # 384

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Moonlight     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by ThunderCloud16:
I know this is a very dumb question, but I was wondering what exactly is "eat me out"? and how is it done?

It's not a dumb question. It's a slang term for cunnilingus, where someone performs oral sex on a woman.


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*ShellerBabe*
Activist
Member # 252

Icon 7 posted      Profile for *ShellerBabe*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thanks guys! I want to tell you all what happened last night well my bf lives in the basement with his mom of these 3 girls i babysit...anyway they called me over to babysit and i was like"sure!" hehe so i would up babysitting an hour later than they were supposed to come..anyways, while one girl was in the shower and the other 2 were watching tv in the other room for a few mins(the other girl was with us playin playstation before) he started fingering me underneath a blanket(of course he asked me first and i said yeah. it was my first time getting fingered) and damn is he sooooo good! i enjoyed it sooo much he goes so fast and he said he could go faster, he said we could do it again if i want and im like"i hope so!" he asked me if i wanted him to eat me out(that was my problem with the board) and i said yea so he's gonna do that soon. I'm starting to get comfortable with him seeing me half naked and stuff..also he said he loves my boobs even tho i hate em and think theyre small, and he loves my crotch cuz i shave bald down there. This is the first real relationship I'm in(im 14 hes 16) and im loving it! Hes not forcing me into sex or anything, he said that if or whenever im ready i can just tell him. He wants to go out for months before we have sex anyway he says, so that way we would do stuff already and know each other more and would feel more comfortable. sorry for blabbering but thats my bf
Posts: 117 | From: America..~*hehe*~ | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sallynha
Activist
Member # 312

Icon 14 posted      Profile for Sallynha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks for keeping us posted!! You're a lucky girl, you!!! I know of a lot of girls who are forced to do sex and other things they don't feel comfortable doing, just because their boyfriends told them "if you don't do it, goodbye"... I think that's sad, although I haven't experienced that (Thank God!)... well, now you just have to know how to keep your lovely boyfriend! He souds like a real nice person indeed!!

Take care and stay safe!!

------------------
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~~~~~Sallynha~~~~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Beppie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just one more thing- don't forget to use protection (dental dams and condoms)
Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SeeMeSwim
Neophyte
Member # 509

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SeeMeSwim     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's really great!!! Congrats. That is a really great ending. I hope that you stay with him for a long time. he sounds really respectful... well anyway... good luck. Be safe.

------------------
Never Give Up... Someone will always care


Posts: 20 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Musickat01
Activist
Member # 272

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Musickat01     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Your boyfriend sounds like my boyfriend!! He never forced me into anything that I didn't want to do and he was always very patient. We didnt have sex until we were going out for 9 months.. and then he still asked me 3 times to make sure I was absolutely ready..

------------------
****If you reach for the moon and miss, you'll be among the stars****


Posts: 145 | From: Dover, Delaware USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

Icon 1 posted      Profile for HotGrrl99     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A lot of girls are uncomfortable about how their body looks totally nude. If you feel that way, you can always shut off the lights, or even have sex with your clothes on!!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PepSi
Neophyte
Member # 534

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PepSi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If your bf is happy how u look etc, then u should not worry about how u look. I understand the feeling but deep down u should reazlize if whoever u are with luves u and does not care so much about how u look but if u are happy and understanding to what he says.
Posts: 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hanne
Sexpert
Member # 100

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Hanne     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, guys --

You know what? What you look like, and the size and shape of your body and body parts, has a heck of a lot less to do with it than you probably think. The truth of the matter is that different things are attractive to different people. Also, for *most* people, the things that are most attractive about a sexual or romantic partner are not necessarily the physical things.

I'm a fat woman. I have been fat all my life. I have also had lovers almost all my life -- ever since I was 16. I've been married, I've been with women as well as men, I have had an awful lot of love and sex experience. I do NOT have a conventionally "sexy" body, not by a long shot.

But I do know from experience that if YOU enjoy your body and take pleasure in your body and how it feels to be touched and how it feels to be sexual, there will always be people who will think you are the sexiest thing in the world. It really does not matter what you look like, not one bit.

For those of you who struggle with your weight or your size, you might want to check out a book I wrote. It's called "Big Big Love" and it's all about sexuality and being chubby, fat, or just not thin, and you can get it in lots of bookstores like Barnes and Noble and stuff. The two biggest points I make in the book, though, are what I said here:

1) If you enjoy your body, other people will too.

and

2) People have different tastes. Not all people like the same things. Someone out there is bound to like the way you look, no matter whether you are conventionally sexy or not.

Simple, but true.

------------------
Hanne Blank
Associate Editor, Scarleteen

"Be Excellent To Each Other" -- Bill and Ted


Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cindy210
Neophyte
Member # 1096

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cindy210     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know how you feel also. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 1/2 months. But we have been friends for almost three years. I have a hard time letting him see me withouth clothes on in the day time. He's been telling me for the past 3 years that I am not fat, and i am perfect and stuff like that. So your not the only one!! : )

------------------
~*Cindy*~
I Love Chris!


Posts: 20 | From: San Diego, Ca USA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
Activist
Member # 961

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Milke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hanne, well spoken! Sheller, you're doing well, and it sounds like you've got a good guy. You know, as babies and toddlers, we start out loving our bodies, are taught by parents and others to be ashamed of them, and if things are good, eventually come full-circle. I think I'm there already, or very close to it, and it's something you seem to be getting to too. Definitely something you've got to work at; it's a really wonderful thing.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
michelle
Activist
Member # 247

Icon 1 posted      Profile for michelle     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
~

[This message has been edited by michelle (edited 07-08-2001).]


Posts: 100 | From: TX, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PunkHippie420
Activist
Member # 699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PunkHippie420     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey Luv I have the same problem... I'm really uncomfortable about my body but guys still want to mess around with me and stuff... just forget about your "flaws" if you may, and if he wants to eat you out, GO FOR IT! He loves you and your body even if you don't, but letting others love it is the first step to being comfortable with yourself!!!!

------------------
peace, music and anarchy
-erYn

**HITLER IS STILL DEAD**


Posts: 67 | From: California, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*Chiquita*G*
Neophyte
Member # 1195

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *Chiquita*G*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't worry about it. I bet he'll be so stoked to see ya 'in the buff' he wont notice any flaws (Which probably aren't even there) Remember: All Women Are Beautiful!!
Posts: 3 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Black Rose
Neophyte
Member # 1461

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Black Rose     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well I might as well join the club!!

I have been married almost 6 years now, and I still have as big a self conscious problem as I did then. My hubbie is always giving me encouragement and reassurance but that still doesn't make me feel any better. We have an okay sex life ( neither of us are all that interested in sex ), but when we do have sex, I spend more time worring about what my hubbie is touching and how disgusting I must feel. I hate when he touchs my pot belly ( after 3 kids I have a big one!) and I am afraid that he will notice my back flab, or cottage cheese thighs. I still don't undress in front of him and all our sexual adventures occur in complete darkness. Well... over the past few years he has been wanting to do the old oral sex thing on me and I just can't let him. When we were first together, he told me horrer stories about his past oral sex experiences, and I guess I have never been able to get those stories out of my mind. I am so afraid that he won't like it but he would be too caring to mention it for of hurting my feelings. He tried to talk me into letting him try right after I get out of the shower, but I just can't seem to let him. I know I am supposed to love my body etc,etc, but I just can't. I couldn't before when I was 60 pounds lighter, so I certainly can't now. I am just hopelessly screwed up!

( And by the way....speaking solely as a mother.....PLEASE be carerful ShellerBabe, use protection and go slow...I made LOTS of mistakes when I was 14 and I am still paying for them now...just please take it slow....NOT a lecture just advice from some one who's been there.)


Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ErinK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's hard to love your body. I don't think it makes you screwed up or broken or not beautiful if you have trouble with it. And I don't think that loving your body means that you're happy with it all the time, but that you accept its good and bad qualities, and try to give it the best care you can.

I have been fat for most of my life, and it has been a real struggle for me to balance what other people, like my parents and some of my "friends," as well as the larger world around me, has told me that my body should be like or should do. Especially prevalent was the idea that fat people don't have sex and fat people aren't sexy.

I also had the privilege of being an erintern for Hanne when she was writing Big Big Love, and reading that so many men and women feel that way about their bodies started making me angry and sad. But you're not ugly! I wnated to yell, so many times. There's nothing wrong with you! And then I realized you know, I'm like them. And I was angry and sad for me.

How did I learn to like my body more? Well, I stopped listening to a lot of the people who were telling me what to do, and I started listening to myself. I started doing things like exercise, or masturbation, or just plain sitting around nekkid because I wanted to and because I could. I noticed how my body felt when I did things; how it moved, how it responded.

I started beliving my lovers when they told me that I was beautiful. I started noticing their bodies, imperfect (and beautiful) as they are, and realizing that hey, if I love them and find them beautiful, even though they're not model-perfect, then what's to say that someone couldn't find my imperfect body nifty as well? None of us are perfect; in fact, sometimes it is the imperfections in others that we cherish most.

I started dressing in clothes that I liked, even ones that I found sexy. The first day I wore a black miniskirt and thigh highs and the fashion police didn't pull up at my door, I was thrilled. In fact, I realized that most people are too busy worrying about how they look and if someone is looking at their butt to worry about mine.

I still don't wake up in the morning and think "damn, I'm hot! Men want me, women envy my butt!" However, I've made peace with my body. I've said to it, "okay, body, we're welded together. I'll try and take good care of you. In exchange, you work as well as you can and let me experience and enjoy life."

That works for me. I still do feel insecure, and I worry about sex and doing sex and all that, but most days I can get out of bed and do work that I love with the body that I love or get into bed with a lover and not fear that it's all going to come crashing down because I'm not built like someone else.

I wish you all the best on finding that for yourself.

erin

------------------
PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there
is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. -- Dave Barry


Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MandieCandie
Neophyte
Member # 1468

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MandieCandie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I used to be really insecure about my body and did not want my b/f eating me out. After a while after all the asurances and compliments my b/f gave me I don't feel that way as much. I still feel alittle bad about that area. I know this, at least my stuff is alot better than some of that other stuff out there in the world...
Posts: 1 | From: Fayetteville, NC, US | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Daisyluv
Activist
Member # 446

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Daisyluv     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
For years I hated my body and on some days I still do and thats natural. Now I mostly think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread because I wear what I think is nice or sexy. I realized that my body is mine forever and its better to be comfortable with it then hating it. And believe me it felt awesome to hear "your beautiful" the first time my bf saw me topless.

------------------
*~ Daisy ~*

"Cute is for puppies, Adorable is for me."


Posts: 123 | From: My House, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
entropie
Activist
Member # 26

Icon 1 posted      Profile for entropie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by ErinK:
<snip>
I still don't wake up in the morning and think "damn, I'm hot! Men want me, women envy my butt!" However, I've made peace with my body. I've said to it, "okay, body, we're welded together. I'll try and take good care of you. In exchange, you work as well as you can and let me experience and enjoy life."
</snip>

That was very well said.. and I agree completely.. you have one body, and if you take care of it, it can't possibly do you bad..
If you believe in your attractiveness, it shines through..

entropie

------------------
honeylaser's site


Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glitter695
Activist
Member # 1515

Icon 1 posted      Profile for glitter695     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Lots of gurls are worried about the same thing, but if your byfriend really loves you hes not gonna care bout how big your stomach is, and for the smelling part, gurl as long as your clean and know how to clean down there , then it should be okay, hay, have him throw a blanket over your body, i had my baby do that the first time, then you'll get used to eachother and wont care....

------------------
*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*


Posts: 1978 | From: NY:) | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ilena
Neophyte
Member # 45018

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ilena     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hello, I understand the discussion, 100%.. but, I'm wondering if the comments of Scarleteen's Founders are exactly appropriate. & I do not mean to criticize whatsoever.. and I apologize ahead of time if I offend anyone in my comment. I live in OH, and the law here is that any sexual activity under the age of 16 is considered rape, even if it is consensual. I am 15, and perhaps I'm incorrect, but, as the poster of this board is only 14, I find it rather disturbing that sexual activity is being encouraged. I understand that different people are ready at different times, and I don't want to be offensive at all.. I am simply concerned that the sexual activity going on between this couple could result in possible rape or adultery charges in any situation that could occur.. In Ohio, if you have had sex under the age of consent (16) , your partner and you could both be put on sexual predators lists. I just thought that I would let the poster know that having sexual activity could have lifelong effects.. if the relationship ends in a bad way..

--------------------
Make sure that you are ready. And when you think your ready, think again. . and make sure.

Posts: 8 | From: Ohio | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
evilstrawberry
Activist
Member # 39129

Icon 1 posted      Profile for evilstrawberry     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wow, this was 10 years ago... a whole decade! If there was any concern over legality, they're certainly in the clear now [Wink]
Posts: 117 | From: U.S. | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ilena
Neophyte
Member # 45018

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ilena     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
lol, i hadn't looked at dates.. my bad

--------------------
Make sure that you are ready. And when you think your ready, think again. . and make sure.

Posts: 8 | From: Ohio | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
music2myears612
Activist
Member # 42508

Icon 1 posted      Profile for music2myears612     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
that is soo funny that this was 10 yrs ago I read everyone's responses and thought it was from last year not 10 yrs ago! I guess replying to people on here won't do any good lol.
Posts: 108 | From: Michigan | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill2000Plus
Activist
Member # 41657

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jill2000Plus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
music2myears612, not on this thread no, but there are plenty of more recent threads where you might be able to offer helpful advice.

--------------------
Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3