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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Pain when we have sex.

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Author Topic: Pain when we have sex.
owlbcnu
Neophyte
Member # 186

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When my bf and I have sex it hurts. We have tried everything. We have used lubies, with and without the condom, in the shower and it still hurts. We have both been checked out and are STD free. I have had my pap and everything came back normal. I am aroused when we do have sex, but once he penetrates it hurts. Is there anything we can do to make it more pleasureable for me? Thank you for your help.
Posts: 3 | From: Palo Alto, CA, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wear*a*smile!
Activist
Member # 161

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ooh, i think this sounds like your hymen isn't stretched or broken yet. is your boyfriend really big, down there?? your vagina is made up of elastic-like stuff so it should "fit" fine. but your hymen is a sticky situation, i can't even put in tampons because it HURTS like the dickens. ask your doctor and see what she has to say!

wear*a*smile
PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PALCE!!


Posts: 139 | From: San Ramon, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
owlbcnu
Neophyte
Member # 186

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Yes, he has enterend me all the way. He's not very big(or I don't think so, he's my first) He's about 7", but has a kind of big circumference. It hurts when he first enters me, but when he is in all the way it doesn't hurt. When he starts to pull out it starts to hurt again.
Posts: 3 | From: Palo Alto, CA, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hanne
Sexpert
Member # 100

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Sounds like a tissue stretching (possible tissue-tearing) problem, possibly made worse by friction, hon.

Here are two things to try:

1) Lube lube lube lube lube. Water based personal lubricants, like KY Jelly, Astroglide, Wet Lube, ID Lube, and so forth can be found in your local drugstore (they'll definitely have KY if nothing else). Put some on his condomed penis, some on your vulva and just inside your vagina before he puts a finger or a penis inside you. Lubricating the tissues there will help an awful lot. I know you said you've used lube, but use MORE. There's no such thing as too much lube. Put down a towel and get seriously slippery.

2) Be gentle with yourself. Sounds like he's stretching your skin/muscle a bit, and so you need to take it easy. Talk to him so that he knows not to go pounding away like the dickens, or he'll hurt you. Go slow, make sure you're relaxed before you start, and if it starts to hurt, stop for a bit. Gradually it will probably start to be more comfortable. BUt do respect pain -- it's your body's way of saying "Stop that, that's not good for me!"

------------------
Hanne Blank
Associate Editor, Scarleteen

"Be Excellent To Each Other" -- Bill and Ted

[This message has been edited by Hanne (edited 21 June 2000).]


Posts: 1538 | From: boston, ma, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
owlbcnu
Neophyte
Member # 186

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We are using Astroglide right now. I would say we use a lot of it. My bf is very gentle with me, he never just goes at it. He knows it hurts me and there fore takes his time. Lke I said we have tried everything, lube, condom, no comdom, me on top, him on top, on our sides, and nothing seems to make me feel better. We will try more lube, any other ideas are welcome. thank you for your help.
Posts: 3 | From: Palo Alto, CA, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wear*a*smile!
Activist
Member # 161

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your boyfriend sounds like a really nice guy and he seems very patient. u r doing all the right stuff, so i don't know what to tell u.
Posts: 139 | From: San Ramon, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Carabanana
Neophyte
Member # 314

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I've been with my boyfriend for four years and I still have this same problem. Sex hurts--I usually feel like I'm being stretched horribly at the opening. It gets a little better with regular sex but has never gone away completely. (Needless to say, my first time was extremely painful, even though we were very careful and stopped almost immediately. It hurt for a long time afterwards.) Is there something that can be done to permanently remove pain? Lube and frequency only make it better than it might otherwise be. Sometimes I have to stop before I want to because of the pain, and I ache unpleasantly afterwards. It really interferes with my enjoyment of the act....
Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Carabanana
Neophyte
Member # 314

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I've been with my boyfriend for four years and I still have this same problem. Sex hurts--I usually feel like I'm being stretched horribly at the opening. It gets a little better with regular sex but has never gone away completely. (Needless to say, my first time was extremely painful, even though we were very careful and stopped almost immediately. It hurt for a long time afterwards.) Is there something that can be done to permanently remove pain? Lube and frequency only make it better than it might otherwise be. Sometimes I have to stop before I want to because of the pain, and I ache unpleasantly afterwards. It really interferes with my enjoyment of the act....
Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

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Well for me, if a guy has a really big one it can sometimes hurt. KY lube can help, but I found that if you can get the boy to eat you out for a long period of time BEFORE he sticks it in, it won't hurt that much. I think that our own natural lubricant works best.
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wear*a*smile!
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Member # 161

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quote:
Originally posted by HotGrrl99:
Well for me, if a guy has a really big one it can sometimes hurt. KY lube can help, but I found that if you can get the boy to eat you out for a long period of time BEFORE he sticks it in, it won't hurt that much. I think that our own natural lubricant works best.

different stuff varied for different people. if our own lubricant worked as much wonders as u say it does, don't u think we wouldn't need lubricant in the firt place?? its made for a reason, cuz not everyones own "stuff"works.


Posts: 139 | From: San Ramon, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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