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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » what to do...MY BEST FRIEND LIKES ME

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Author Topic: what to do...MY BEST FRIEND LIKES ME
Member # 82261

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Okay so my best friend and I have been friends for six years. She moved from california when we were in the middle of seventh grade. We clicked immediately when I met her on the late bus from school when she asked to sit next to me. I noticed she was new and how pretty she was with her long legs and her left cartilage pierced (bad ***) with a white pearl (pure and elegant). We talked everyday after that during gym class and after school. We both love music and are very athletic and outgoing, but shes alot girlier than me, and I have mostly guy friends. Shes sweet and hilarious, we got really close really fast and always have been.
We walk together with locked arms or intertwined fingers holding hands and kiss cheeks when we meet and seperate, even when were together with other friends or our boyfriends and they never seemed to care, probrably because they know we are so close. I guess we are closer than other best girlfriends are physically, but its not something we ever really thought or talked about. Its kinda just automatic, just us.
Thats why she totally caught me off guard when after cheerleading practice last week she told me that she likes me, mind you its the time we usually talk about guys and our boyfriends and stuff with the other girls. She said she has never felt this way about anyone else. She said shes been trying to figure out how she felt since our sophmore year (while I thought she was happily dating her now ex) and couldnt deny how much she really only wanted me, but has been afraid to say anything. At first I thought she was joking, cause she does that, but as she went on she looked really serious and her eyes started to gloss. I hate when she cries so I hugged her (even though I was still taking it in), I didnt want her to feel bad that she told me, or be afraid of my reaction. I told her I loved her too and im glad she told me, but im not sure how I feel about the situation.
First of all I kind of suspected something was going on with her. She never gave me the whole story of why she so suddenly broke up with her boyfriend, and we used to basically live at eachothers houses since we actually live around the corner, but shes been making up excused for why I couldnt come over or sleep over.
So now im confused, I really do love this girl. And im attracted to her, shes gorgeous and when were close to eachother I feel close to her. Weve cuddled and spooned on many occasions and even kissed but never like deep and strong, just as friends or whatever I dont know. But Ive never thought of her in a sexual way or of myself as a lesbian or questioned being straight. Then again Ive never thought of a guy sexually either. I just went out with guys cause there cool attractive and fun to hang out with like anyone else. Ive never gone out with a guy because I was madly in love with him or wanted to have sex.
Anyways I think I might want her too, or maybe I just love her as a close friend and love our friendship, but Im not sure about anything anymore. All I do know for sure is I never want to lose her.

Sorry its like a novel. What do you guys think I should do?

Posts: 3 | From: New York | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 76493

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...I had to actually check to make sure I hadn't posted this, that is how similar our situations are. So, coming from a very similar situation (with a best friend of six years who told me she liked me) what I have to say is this: I think you probably already have an idea of what you know you want. Based off your post, especially the way you described this girl, it is obvious you care about her very much, not only emotionally but a little bit physically as well. I'd say that as long as you two are honest and open with each other, and as long as you communicate effectively, giving it a try wouldn't hurt.

For a while just throw out the notions of "straight" and "gay" and whatnot and just allow yourself to live and love as your own person. No matter what happens it will be a chance to learn something about yourself, and if you and she are as close as you say, I think you can most definitely protect your friendship along the way.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 82261

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Thanks ananab [Smile] , wow thats funny you had a similar situation.

For me, I guess I just got alittle freaked out that she didnt feel the same way I did about us, that she wanted more, and am afraid that we might change. But I guess its not bad, atleast she doesnt want to be less close. I just thought being friends was better than being girlfriends because of the pressure. But she has always been amazing and supportive and I think shes a little more secure about us going into a deeper realtionship than I am. I think im gonna give us a shot, and see what happens. Fingers and toes closed.

What happened with your friend?

Posts: 3 | From: New York | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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Hey MLAAFJocelyn,

Just to let you know in case you didn't; feeling sexual attraction to this person does not make you a lesbian, she is only one person and cannot represent her entire gender. Only you can choose how you identify.

'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 82261

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Hey RaeRay2112

Well I dont really care about whether im gay or not. I dont think I could stop myself from liking someone because of their a guy or girl or trans or whatev. I just was concerned about our friendship.

Posts: 3 | From: New York | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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