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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Sudden shift in sexual preferences?

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Author Topic: Sudden shift in sexual preferences?
Member # 58203

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I've noticed a sudden shift in my sexual preferences. I would constantly crush on people- sometimes I admired them, sometimes I thought they were pretty and loved looking at them. When I lost interest in a crush or told myself to stop thinking about someone who would never want to date me, I felt weird, like I had to find someone else to crush on. But a few months ago, that feeling almost disappeared. I still like the idea of dating someone because our personalities work well together, but instead of having crushes, I have people I like to think about sexually.

And although I've masturbated for years, it was only around then that I started fantasising while doing it instead of just concentrating on the physical sensations, and now I automatically think about having sex with a particular person(usually a fictional character) while doing it.

I still identify as bi, and I still feel about the same level of attraction for both genders, so this isn't about my orientation.

So has anyone else had their sexuality change this suddenly, or does this sort of thing usually happen gradually?

Please captain, not in front of the Klingons. They need not see such a passionate display!

Posts: 8 | From: some Australian town | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
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Member # 66249

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I'm not sure if I could notice even sudden changes in how I think about other people sexually, as I'm not sure change itself is that out of the ordinary for me! I'm not sure I have set habits of how I think of people sexually, as they've changed quite a lot over the years.

I think other things in life affect stuff more... for example how much time I spend with other people, if I've been reading erotic stuff... or if I've been reading maths books (that's going to make a big change!).

Also, by the way, it's interesting, boldly_go, that you bring this into the orientation/identity forum. Although you say this isn't about your orientation, I also like how on the other hand you consider all this stuff, like how you fantasize, how romantically/sexually/unsexually you feel at a time to perhaps be another part of your orientation or identity. It sounds quite healthy to be so holistic about it.

I would say that actually even being able to state "I still feel about the same level of attraction for both genders" is something that I'm not sure I could ever say, as I don't really feel attraction in measurable quantities (I also see gender as more than just binary) and it comes in so many different forms and changes over time... which actually might be something you're seeing in your sexuality a little bit.

But yeah how I think about people sexually, asking whether I think it's healthy, or romantic enough, or thinking about whether I'm a "good" person when it comes to my sexual thoughts, really has made up a large part of my identity, so thanks for bringing it up!

[ 09-11-2011, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

Posts: 694 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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This seems fairly normal to me as well. Around 8th grade, I started to become more interested in GLBT culture. As a result of growing more cognizant of that side of myself, it has slowly dawned upon me that my primary interest is in women, with occasional interest in straight men or ftm transsexuals. Although I do believe this shift in sexual interest was gradual (because prior to 8th grade, I was interested solely in men), I also feel like changes in sexual behavior, interest, or habits are a natural part of life.
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