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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » FtM or just like every other girl?

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Author Topic: FtM or just like every other girl?
WindyChicago
Neophyte
Member # 77520

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Okay, so I know most teen age girl are really attracted to gay guys, and they think it's mad fit and for the most part that's really common...

But I'm beginning to think about how I am, and how I've never really felt like a girl. I find straight people kind of unattractive, or like two heteros... And when ever I'm thinking of thinks sexually, I will either be giving oral or the fantasy is in third person.

I HATE being called "her" or "she". I am not sure why, but it automatically makes me feel really sad and off.

I have really intense penis envy. The thing is, I feel like I *should* have a penis. Like... I'm not sure if I want one, it's just an every-time-I-look-in-my-pants-I'm-surprised-I-don't-have-one-thing. Having girl parts is just weird.

Also, my boobs... Like... I have double-d cups, and most days it's fine... I just kinda don't care... But other days, it feels like they weigh a million pounds and that everyone is thinking that they are just disgusting and I just want them to GO AWAY.

I kinda think I'm gender fluid, or bigender, or FtM...

Or does everyone feel this way?

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eryn_smiles
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It's pretty hard to say how "everyone feels" about anything because we're all so different from each other. Or even to predict who most teenage girls are attracted to, because how would we know? What I can say is that it's really common to question your gender identity. And that however you choose to define your gender and orientation, it's ok. You should be able to be and call yourself whatever makes you most comfortable.

It does sound like you have some questions around your gender identity. And I'm sorry to hear it sometimes makes you feel really sad. Do you have people you trust that you can talk to about these issues? Have you met anyone else with similar feelings?

This link explains some of the main terms people might use to describe their gender:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/genderpalooza_a_sex_gender_primer

--------------------
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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bump on a log
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Member # 60751

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I'm genderqueer, leaning towards FtM. You remind me of myself with this:

quote:
Originally posted by WindyChicago:
And when ever I'm thinking of thinks sexually, I will either be giving oral or the fantasy is in third person.

My sexual fantasies are either in third person or, more commonly, feature me with a male body having sex with another male-bodied person.

quote:
Originally posted by WindyChicago:
I HATE being called "her" or "she". I am not sure why, but it automatically makes me feel really sad and off.

I was about sixteen when I began to feel really uncomfortable with female pronouns.

Some questions to ask yourself: How long have you felt this way? How was it when you were a kid? Was going through puberty upsetting for you? When you see an FtM character in the movies, do you identify with him?

Not that any of those will provide a hard-and-fast answer. As eryn_smiles says, you make up your own answers about your gender identity. They're just things to think about.

You maybe aren't going to settle upon a definitive, lifelong identity right now. Indeed, you may never. Label yourself by all means, but bear in mind that the label may well be provisional, and don't feel pressured to figure out once and for all what you are, as soon as you can. Do what feels best to you now.

By the way, have you heard of the term 'girlfag'? Another possible label for you...There is a group on Livejournal who share their experiences. Some feel transgender, some cisgender, some in between. Have a look at that if you feel like. http://girlfags.livejournal.com/

Also read this paper (well set of notes really) called 'Transhomosexuality, or the Dissociation of Sexual Orientation and Sex Object Choice'. I thought it was very good. http://www.springerlink.com/content/w208317223t21720/

[ 09-03-2011, 04:01 PM: Message edited by: bump on a log ]

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