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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » What of my sexuality? ...and theres this girl...

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Author Topic: What of my sexuality? ...and theres this girl...
EarthenBirthed
Neophyte
Member # 61694

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Kayso, this is whats up. In the beginning of Everything, I knew I wasn't straight. I just didn't know the words for it since I was so young. Starting in middle school, i started developing an awareness of my sexuality. In seventh grade, I fell in love with my best friend- who was a girl. Those years... they were rocky to say the least... Anywho, this is me, awkward little Abby, just floating along, getting bad grades, trying to find herself. Little Abby who had little to no experience with guys except for an ongoing friendship with one whom she knew liked her. I was in love with a girl. I was super depressed for like a year and a half. Then I was like, 'f*ck this,' and tried not to like her, because I knew I wasn't getting anywhere. I was like 'I'm okay with gays, theyre pretty cool.' and then it became 'Oh wow, look at me! I'm kinda bisexual aren't I?' and then it was, 'Yeah! I'm bisexual!' I began to like girls a lot more than guys. That went on through eighth grade. Then, high school. Currently, I'm a ninth grader in high school. In the beginning of the year I was like, 'okay, I'm probably lesbian.' then I was like, 'I'm lesbian. Cool.' At this point, I still have not gone out with a girl before, but I went out with a guy for two months and we didn't even kiss once x] so, I'm still confused there. Now, I want to be lesbian. Just lesbian. Here I am convincing myself that all guys are not for me and I'm looking for a girl. I have some intense crushes on girls. They still are there. I mean, I am like in love with two now, still. But there this guy... he's totally cute and I like him a little, but as a friend or more? I don't know. Going back to girls, this one that I am SUPER IN LOVE WITH legit, like my heart feels like its tugging towards her every moment I'm around her. Like there is physical pain. So, this girl. I knew her as straight. We're super awesome friends and we've only known each other for a few months. BEST FRIENDS. And then, a few days ago, she says to me, 'Abby, I think I'm bisexual.' My heart LEAPS. I say, 'Oh. How did you know?' and she says 'Well, love has no boundries. I've always known that, I just havent understood it for myself. I have the potential to like girls, but I like guys more.' This. This, to me is like an answer that isn't really an answer, but I can't tell people what their thoughts are so I just say, 'Thats really cool.' and smile big. Because I know I'm lucky. Even knowing that I have the slightest chance of her liking me is enough. I want to know though... What do I do?

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Taste by Animal Collective

Posts: 14 | From: Maryland | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Could you maybe clarify what it is that you are asking us for help with? Do you want to talk about how you can tell your friend how you feel about her? Or is there anything else that we can do for you?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
EarthenBirthed
Neophyte
Member # 61694

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I don't know... I think that I just needed to vent. I was a little high last night, and I realized that I'm like in love with this girl but I'm okay with us just being friends you know? But it doesnt matter really. I just think that we're fine now but if she liked me back (which I know she doesnt cuz she totally in love with this guy) it would be amazing. Yep.

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Taste by Animal Collective

Posts: 14 | From: Maryland | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Alright. But if there's anything we can do for you, just let us know, okay? [Smile]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SouwaLyn
Neophyte
Member # 61037

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I think you hormones are a little crazy just like mine. I was confused and said i was bi then now im lesbian and a ninth grader in high school just like you. I went through the same situation except I havent dated a boy. Anyways, just take a deep breath and try asking ur bi friend out. It may be hard. When I first asked out a girl, I was nervous and couldnt wait to ask her so i asked through text. So I think you were trying to ask us how we could help ur crazy teenager self. XD Just take the plunge and ask your friend out. This is my interpretation of what you kinda told/asked us. I hope i answered your question.
Posts: 4 | From: USA | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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