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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Really confused, help?

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Author Topic: Really confused, help?
Member # 46162

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I apologize in advance for this mass of information, but I find it quite necessary..

My current boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and I dated my ex for a year and a half, so I have much experience with men. I consider myself straight and have never had any physical interactions with a women, except for one time in high school I kissed a girl, but it was the lightest, barely touching kiss (why I don't know).

Over the past two months, I have found myself occasionally having dreams about being physical with a woman. They started off simple, like talking, but eventually led to touching and sex. In the dream where this mystery woman was touching me, I felt uncomfortable, but she was happy. My most recent dream has really shocked me because I was experimenting with a good friend of mine whom I work with. She seemed up to fooling around as I was, which I know in real life is something she would never, ever do.

I know for a fact that I like men, even when with my boyfriend I see attractive men and like to oogle, but that's about it. I have always admired a woman's beauty and their sense of fashion. But I can't imagine myself in a sexual relationship with another woman or even a relationship period.

As for dreaming about being physical with my friend, could it just be that I enjoy her company? I don't have many friends since I commute to school and the rest went away for college and she's my closest friend. We even work at the same store together.

I would just like to know if this is normal and if having these dreams may consider me bisexual in some way, I'm fairly clueless as to what constitutes as being bi.

On another note, not sure if this helps, but I have seen sexual videos on the web, both hetero and homo sexual. When I watched two women together, it turned me on just as much as a man-woman together would..Not sure if that helps..

Thank you so much and I apologize for writing a book [Frown]

Posts: 22 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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Dreams? i wouldn't consider them to give definite answers to something about my character. Dreams are a way for our bodies to unload all the thoughts, imagery, concepts and anxieties we've experienced and put them into place. Not to decide our sexuality for sure. I'd suggest that if you feel that "straight" is the term you most identify with, then you are straight.

Keep in mind that sexuality is pretty fluid and VERY variant. It make help to think about sexuality as a spectrum with rigid heterosexuality and homosexuality as the extremes at either end. We're all somewhere along the spectrum, not many people really occupy the extreme ends. So, you finding two women together in porn arousing doesn't mean you're not straight, it means you're not at the rigidly heterosexual end of the spectrum, you're further along.

In any case, you get to choose if you even want to label yourself anything. You don't *have* to have a term for your sexual orientation, you can just be you [Smile] Call or not whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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