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Author Topic: WAY TO BIG OR not wide enough.........
C0NFusED_S0uL
Neophyte
Member # 56189

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well see there's this guy i've bben knowing for 16 years (my exact age) anywho well since we about 12 years old you know we've been making out and flirting everytime we get a chance to see each other and well we'd tried having sex before but it was when i was like 13 and he was 14 and i wasn't ready. as of recently he decided that it was time and well it was great all up until we got ready and he is TOO BIG......... [Eek!] [Eek!] So he just decided to finger me instead. the problem is that we tried twice and both time he didn't fit [Frown] [Frown] i really want this but i don't know what this means please help

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I MAY NOT KNOWN WHAT I WANNA DO OR WHERE I'M GOIN BUT I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT I CAN DO......

Posts: 4 | From: Where Ever God Put's Me | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Activist
Member # 39174

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"as of recently he decided that it was time"

"So he just decided to finger me instead"

Hi confused soul, welcome to the boards. These two statements you make here are sending up red flags to me. Sex is about what both people want and feel ready for, not for one to decide for both. If he's making the decisions about what you do with your body, that's not fair and it's not right.
How do you feel about being sexually active? and with this person? Keep in mind that going straight to PIV sex is actually a pretty big leap, do you two do other things first? Is he paying attention to your wants, needs and pleasure?

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C0NFusED_S0uL
Neophyte
Member # 56189

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Yea it was a typo i meant to say we instead of he.I feel fine about it i don't see anything wrong with it and i love him very much. i can trust him and he's the ONLY person im comfortable with when it comes down to sex. He's the ONLY guy whose ever seen me nude. He pays alot of attention to me and what i want when we talked about it he kept asking me if i was sure. it always starts out the same way orally on both ends. this was the very first time we tried PIV though

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I MAY NOT KNOWN WHAT I WANNA DO OR WHERE I'M GOIN BUT I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT I CAN DO......

Posts: 4 | From: Where Ever God Put's Me | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, in terms of how that attempt at PIV went: did you experience pain or discomfort?

If so, and in general, before you two tried this, had you both spent a lot of time with other activities first? Were you being gradual? using lubricant as needed? Trying different positions?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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C0NFusED_S0uL
Neophyte
Member # 56189

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ummm no not really as far ad different positions by other activities what do you mean

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I MAY NOT KNOWN WHAT I WANNA DO OR WHERE I'M GOIN BUT I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT I CAN DO......

Posts: 4 | From: Where Ever God Put's Me | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Firefly-
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 26516

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I think Heather meant other activities generally considered to be "foreplay", for example oral and/or manual sex. If a woman is really aroused before attempting PIV intercourse, it makes things easier because her vagina will generally self-lubricate (although adding more lubricant is often necessary), and "tent up". Lots of arousal is really important.

Did you try to use any lubricant? That could be very helpful if you decide to try again.

Besides the issue with entry, there's another very important aspect around this. Are you both using some form of contraception like condoms or a hormonal method? If you are not, and you do not want to become pregnant, I would advise that you both look into this and find one or two methods that would work well for you both.

Have you ever had a pap smear or gynecological exam done? If not, it could be a good idea to do so to see if there are any physical things that could be inhibiting entry. It's also a good idea to start going when you become sexually active.

I'm going to link you to a few articles. It might look like a lot, but there's a ton of useful information in there:

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
First Intercourse 101
Birth Control Bingo!
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

You're more than welcome to come back if you have any more questions or if the articles didn't quite answer everything. We're happy to help! [Smile]

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Vero
Scarleteen Volunteer
Help sustain sex ed and Scarleteen: donate!

Posts: 1345 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
C0NFusED_S0uL
Neophyte
Member # 56189

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THANKS UMMM NO LUBRICANT BUT YES LOTS OF CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL IS COMING SOON SO WE'LL BE USING BOTH

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I MAY NOT KNOWN WHAT I WANNA DO OR WHERE I'M GOIN BUT I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND WHAT I CAN DO......

Posts: 4 | From: Where Ever God Put's Me | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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