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Wren
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Okay, first post here, so greetings and salutations.
I have known for a number of years now that I am emotionally and physically attracted to women rather than men (I am eighteen). I am not really questioning my sexuality as such anymore, but I AM now questioning WHY. This is not because I have a problem with being a lesbian, but because I am that sort of naturally curious person that needs to find a reason for everything and will very rarely take "it is that way because it just is" for an answer.
I am a feminine girl, and am attracted to other feminine women...this can't be out of any instinct to further the human race or reproduce...not to do with my gender identity, and hopefully nothing to do with my rather poor relationship with my father.... so WHY?

Opinions welcomed,

~Nimue

Posts: 6 | From: Australia | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
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Hi Nimue [Smile]

To that question I might ask, if you were straight, WHY would that be? In that situation, would you take "it is that way because it just is" for an answer? (Why do people question how people become gay, but not how they become straight? Is it purely about societal expectations?)

The theories about sexual orientation being related to desire to reproduce or related to poor parental role models are no longer widely accepted. As well, one's gender identity is quite separate from their sexual orientation.

[ 01-24-2011, 05:30 AM: Message edited by: eryn_smiles ]

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Wren
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Hi [Smile]

I was questioning why people become gay as opposed to how people become straight purely because it applied to me, as in, I am at point A and I would like to know how I got to point A, rather than asking about how someone else got to point B. if that makes any sense. Although I guess if you find out the answer to one, then the answer to the other is close by.

So, let me rephrase, apart from reproduction, what is the purpose of sexuality? Scientifically speaking.

(also, just because I am asking how something works, doesn't mean I am devaluing it- I am merely curious)

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eryn_smiles
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Oh, thanks for rephrasing! I wish I knew the answer myself sometimes, so that I had something to answer back to my parents' "we didn't bring you up to be gay"...

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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CoatRack
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Oh I TOTALLY get the questioning.

The best I can tell? "Because I said so, that's why!"

Seriously, I have no answer. A lot of people will stand around all day and talk about nurture vs. nature, insist back and forth and back again that we are just born this way, some science-minded folks are downright obsessed with testosterone or estrogen levels in the womb or the possibility of a "gay" gene...

And I finally learned to not care. It doesn't matter to me, really. I had to finally stop asking "Why me? How come?" because those are questions that can just make your head spin.

However, what the point of sexuality is? It feels good. It's fun. It plays to our desires as social animals.

[ 01-24-2011, 06:45 AM: Message edited by: CoatRack ]

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Nimue: most scientific theories about the why of sexuality when we're talking about partnered sex and not talking about reproduction come down to social bonding (and bonding as a motivation, in general, tends to be far more of an issue than reproduction, even for theorists who include reproduction as a motive).

Andy summed that up really nicely in one sentence in hir last post there.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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moonlight bouncing off water
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Nimue, I understand what you are asking, and I often ask the very same question myself. But I'd like to broaden what you are asking, what is the purpose of sexuality, well what is the purpose of liking a certain colour, or thinking, or even existing? If you strip everything down to its base, the Universe doesn't make a whole lot of sense anyway (to me at least, no offence was meant to any one who feels any differently).

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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