I'm 15 and a guy and while I have always thought of myself being heterosexual in the past couple months I have been seriously obsessing over my sexuality.
I have always had crushes on girls and fantasized about them but it sometimes when a guy takes his shirt off or I see one of the male models in mens health magazines I can get aroused. Now I have actually tried fantasizing about guys and once I look at a guy and try to think sexual thoughts about him I stop being aroused.
I only started thinking about this a lot when I went on vacation and was stuck in a house for a week with nothing to do but think. I can't stop thinking about what if I am not straight? How can I be if I can get aroused like that. It seems like when I happy I know I am heterosexual and when I'm not I'm questioning, even if something unrelated gets me sad I start questioning my sexuality.
When I have gotten aroused like that in the past I never thought about liking the guy, nothing sexual with him or romantic. I didn't feel any desire to see his penis. I do not feel any emotional attraction to men but now as the school year started I look around me and I find myself wondering if other guys are handsome or not, deciding they aren't and then having it happen again to another person. When I first thought about by sexuality I always thought I was straight in the past but now I try to think back and find anything that might have indicated If I was gay, like if I thought a guy was handsome or not. I can't stop thinking what ifs like what if I convince myself I am straight but I really am not or what if I decide I am gay and never like guys. I do not want to deny myself but I don't want to make a bad decision. It seems like now I can't fantasize about anyone or rarely about girls. I have noticed that I have realized that some guys were good looking in the past, does this make me gay? I feel like I'm not sure about anything now. Know I think what if I have always been bisexual or was attracted to guys but didn't know it?
Posts: 1 | From: US | Registered: Sep 2010
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It's one glaring flaw is that it doesn't call bisexuality/queer that, but calls it "equally homosexual/heterosexual" which is bizarre (especially since the online tool there was made by the American Institute for Bisexuality, no less), but other than that, it can be very helpful for folks asking these kinds of questions.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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