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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Coming Out

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Author Topic: Coming Out
Member # 48854

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Background: I'm 18 right now, and have had semi-crushes on girls since I was probably about 13, with it becoming a major thing when I started high school, around 14 or 15. And then major confusion/awkwardness around guys since I was about 10, because I don't really get romantic crushes on boys, and they get romantic crushes on me, so they're like "Hey, will you be my girlfriend?" and my mind splits girlfriend into Girl Friend... completely different situation.

And around mid August, a friend of mine came out. She was and is my best friend, she's a couple years older than me, and I sure thought I loved her like a big sister until I had a crush on her a couple years ago. Which I gave up, because she had a boyfriend at the time. So, her coming out caused a lot of re-thinking and confusion. I ended up posting a general confusion rant on another forum I go on, decided substantially that I'm a lesbian after examining past situations, plus the fact that it...'fits' so much better than trying to have crushes on guys ever did.

Now...only person I've even kind of come out to is that same friend, and I only did that by copy-pasting the link to that board of confusion. I'm trying to figure out how to tell my mom and dad, especially because my dad doesn't do well with anything atypical, and I've always been the good kid. My mind comes up with worst-case scenarios for anything I do. Literally, I can be knitting, and my mind will come up with a full-color mental movie of my cat jumping on my back, me falling forward onto the needle, needle impales. So coming out to my parents, or friends with incredibly strict religious parents... especially parents who think I'm the sweetest good girl mind is going overtime on stuff worthy of a horror movie.

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Executive Director & Founder
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My general advice when it comes to coming out is to think of it as something where you start with a person you feel the most comfortable coming out to, and anticipate being the most supportive, and then move outward in concentric circles with people who are kind of next down that line.

Are you feeling like it's time for you to come out to your parents? If so, you seem to be expressing you feel worried about your Dad with this. How about your Mom?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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