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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I thought I was a lesbian, but now I'm not so sure.

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Author Topic: I thought I was a lesbian, but now I'm not so sure.
Member # 47384

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Okay, so for the past 2 years I've identified as a lesbian. I've only been attracted to females, and I've been pretty comfortable with that. But now I'm starting to question it.

I'm starting to think about guys (and, to be frank, guy parts).I don't feel like I would actually want to have sex with a guy though, that's the thing. These thoughts are pretty much unwanted.

To confuse things further, I have OCD. With it comes unwanted sexual thoughts. Could these be a part of that? I don't think I actually like guys. There are guys I think are attractive, but I wouldn't want to sleep with them.

I feel like I'm still a lesbian, but I'm just confused as to what is going on...

Posts: 19 | From: Washington, DC. | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47280

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How do *you* feel about the OCD playing a part in this?

I know for *my* part, I can get something into my head that I don't like and can't get it out and I'm not even diagnosed with OCD.

Sometimes I think about female parts or notice that a particular woman is beautiful and wonder if I were to ever be single, would I be open to being in an intimate relationship with a woman. Then I remember that I really just have a large academic interest in human sexuality in general. So I just sort of acknowledge that that's an interesting thought and let it pass by. A lot of times when I spend a lot of mental energy trying to get rid of something I don't want to think about, the more firmly entrenched it becomes. Sort of like when a car gets stuck in the mud or snow... the more you spin your tires, the more deeply you get mired!


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Posts: 116 | From: Texas | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32224

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Unwanted and unappealing sexual thoughts are a problem I used to have a lot (doctor told me I don't have OCD, but I do have Aspergers' and tendencies to anxiety and depression, which are apparently often associated with OCD), so it could be to do with your OCD - it's a pretty common symptom. On the other hand, I've heard it's not unknown for people to enjoy fantasising about a gender they wouldn't be interested in having sex with in real life, though I don't really know how common that is. Can't really be of any more help, but I thought I could add my 2 cents on this.
Posts: 475 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48006

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I am actually in a very similar position right now. I knew I liked women when I was 12, considered myself a lesbian when I was 13, and am now 19. About a year ago I noticed that men would start entering into my fantasies while masturbating, but then when I stop and ask myself if that's something I would actually want in real life, I don't think it is. In my fantasies I find the idea of intercourse with men appealing, but I would never want to touch, kiss, or do anything else of a sexual or intimate nature with a man. I've only ever been truly attracted to women (older women, specifically), but I guess I'm just now questioning how much of a lesbian I actually am.

Dreams unwind --- love's a state of mind.

Posts: 1 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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