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Author Topic: Am I bi or just curious?
SLP016
Neophyte
Member # 45999

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A few years ago, at age 14, I began to wonder if I was bi-sexual. I had started to notice girls' legs, breasts, ext- but I was not interested in a relationship with a girl. After that phase ended, I concluded I was straight and continued to crush on boys. But recently, I have been questioning again. I get "girl crushes " occasionally, in which I deeply admire a specific gril, think she is beautiful, and want her to like me/ be friends with me. I do imagine kissing her,and have decided that the idea does not bother me. I am not sure how i feel about a relationship with a girl, it doesnt feel comfortable to me.I am also unsure about how I feel about sex with a girl or having her hold my waist, ect. my fantasies do not include girls, I have looked at lesbian porn and it only turns me on a little bit. However, when I was younger, I had very closes, possesive friendships with girls and enjoyed hugging my female teachers. I looked at girls in the locker rooms and peeked when they were changing. Lately I have been concerned that I am bi because of these girl crushes and because I am joining the military,where bisexuality would not be accepted. Any opinions? Am i straight, bi, or deeply confused?
Posts: 1 | From: United States | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Angstmuffin
Neophyte
Member # 43514

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I don't think it is really necessary to try and fit yourself under a label. This could be just a phase, or you could be bisexual. Only time will tell. No one but you can really know what your orientation is. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it too much. And if you're concerned about the complications with your orientation and the military, I would just call yourself straight. I don't think there would be any real reasons that you would have real problems with your orientation while in the military.
Posts: 4 | From: US of A | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cassidy Jay
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Member # 46987

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There's no such thing as being confused. Just live your life and you will fall in love, male or female-bodied, it doesn't matter. Seriously.

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Anita Bryant like Anita hole in my head.

Posts: 11 | From: Michigan | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheTasteOfPurple
Activist
Member # 43186

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Like other responses have said or implied, it isn't really necessary to label yourself. If you feel you'd be more comfortable with a label, "questioning" might be a good one for right now. You can call yourself whatever you think is truest for you and what you feel most comfortable with and most people will accept that. Remember, you are the only person who can decide whether you're straight, bisexual, gay or any other orientation.

Re joining the military - Don't let it influence what you think about your own identity and orientation. There will be people who are more accepting and people who are less so, but that goes for the rest of the world too. My friend who is an Army Ranger told me that the Rangers are about 15% gay (and those are just the ones who are out to themselves though not publicly.) Another friend in the Navy says that the majority of the nuclear engineers he knows in the navy are gay or bisexual. One of Obama's campaign promises is to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell, the law that prevents openly queer people from being in the military, and generals, admirals, and ex-military politicians are showing quite a bit of support for it. Maybe the people you know in the military are homophobic, but that doesn't mean all of them are.

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Julia

The highest result of education is tolerance. -Helen Keller

Posts: 50 | From: Halfway down the California coast | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
julzy
Neophyte
Member # 48882

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quote:
Originally posted by SLP016:
A few years ago, at age 14, I began to wonder if I was bi-sexual. I had started to notice girls' legs, breasts, ext- but I was not interested in a relationship with a girl. After that phase ended, I concluded I was straight and continued to crush on boys. But recently, I have been questioning again. I get "girl crushes " occasionally, in which I deeply admire a specific gril, think she is beautiful, and want her to like me/ be friends with me. I do imagine kissing her,and have decided that the idea does not bother me. I am not sure how i feel about a relationship with a girl, it doesnt feel comfortable to me.I am also unsure about how I feel about sex with a girl or having her hold my waist, ect. my fantasies do not include girls, I have looked at lesbian porn and it only turns me on a little bit. However, when I was younger, I had very closes, possesive friendships with girls and enjoyed hugging my female teachers. I looked at girls in the locker rooms and peeked when they were changing. Lately I have been concerned that I am bi because of these girl crushes and because I am joining the military,where bisexuality would not be accepted. Any opinions? Am i straight, bi, or deeply confused?

i know im bi because i have kissed a girl. maybe you should try it, maybe even go all the way to see if you really are bi.

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cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort, suffocation no breathing, dont give a f***k if i cut my arm bleeding.

Posts: 11 | From: charlotte | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Julzy - One does not need to kiss someone, or get sexually involved with someone, to gauge one's sexual identity. Plenty of people become aware of their sexuality before they ever start being involved with anyone, and it's perfectly possible to be totally certain of who you're into before you ever have any sexual experiences. Think about it this way 'round: do you know of any heterosexual people who weren't sure of their orientation until they'd kissed someone of the opposite gender?

It's also not such a sage idea to kiss someone just to figure out whether you like their whole gender. For one, because one person cannot possibly represent their whole gender: all you'll figure out from kissing someone is whether or not you like kissing that one person. And for another, it's just not a good idea to use people as experiments. People aren't guinea pigs, they're people, and they deserve to be treated with respect and care.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sakura Belle
Neophyte
Member # 49340

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I myself fell the exact same way. I have a definite attraction to both men and women, but I don't like to label myself as I have not had any romantic experience with ether men or women. But, I know that I wouldn't let gender get in the way of love. If I love you, I'm gonna love you, no matter what your gender is.
Posts: 4 | From: Scottsdale, AZ | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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