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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » coming out & school/sports/family

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Author Topic: coming out & school/sports/family
Member # 45900

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I am in the process of coming out at high school. I'm out to my two best friends who have been overly supportive, but being closeted is driving me mad and I really just want to be able to get out. As far as I can tell, my school doesn't really have much of a homophobia problem, and I'm a fairly strong willed person, so I'm not worried about harassment or anything like that. I do have two issues though:
1. I am really close with a (as far as I can tell) straight girl on my varsity basketball team.We get on amazingly well. We are very good friends and she doesn't mind giving out big hugs, kisses on the cheeks and basically being really really personal with me (and others...). She is a great friend - I don't think of her in that way - but I am worried that coming out in school will push her away from me if she thinks that by being close with me means I'm attracted to her or something like that. I don't want to loose such a good friend and team mate. How do I talk with her about being gay and not killing our friendship?

2. My parents both work at my school, so being 'more out' at school means they will probably hear about it on the grapevine. Should I risk coming out at school and wait for them to hear about it, talk to them before hand [Confused] or just wait until I go to uni (18 months [Frown] )?

gah. thanks in advance [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: Bangkok, Thailand | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Per your parents, if they both work there, I'd say you probably want to come out to them first. It seems pretty likely it would make it's way back to them there -- you know how school grapevines are -- and then hearing about it secondhand isn't likely to be ideal or best for you OR them.

Do you feel able to come out to your parents?

In terms of that one girl, might you be able to say directly to her what you have said about her to use here? Because I think what you said right here is great. In other words, that you're worried girls you're close to as friends will assume you must be attracted to them, and you worry that that assumption will ruin friendships you cherish and want to have AS friendships.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 45900

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Okay - I think I might be able to. Hehe I'll start planning... They'll be ok about it, it's just - well, I'm sure you've got loads of people trying to get the nerve to come out to their parents on the forums [Razz]

I guess I can't really control how she (and other close friends) react. I'll talk to her and hope she understands. It's just a bummer knowing that I could loose a great friendship over nothing.
Thank you SO much [Big Grin]

Posts: 2 | From: Bangkok, Thailand | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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