Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Issues with some REALLY close friends?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Issues with some REALLY close friends?
Lady Xanthine
Neophyte
Member # 45122

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, so I'm bi, and I've known it for about a year. When I was still unsure, I asked a couple friends (M and J) what they'd think if I was bi. M said that it was a sin but she'd still be friends with me (we've known each other literally forever, and she is Christian and I have no beliefs), and J said pretty much the same thing, but also that she'd be a LOT more careful around me if I was bi. IE she wouldn't go to my house alone, spend the night anymore, etc. I almost said "Just cuz I'm bi, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ALL girls," because she was acting like just because I am attracted to some girls, I am automatically attracted to all of them. Now, I am most definitely NOT attracted to M or J. I love them, but as sisters.

But anyway, now that I'm sure, how should I tell them? They aren't very accepting of this, as the subject came up with my boyfriend (he's bi too), and they got really freaked out, and J (who's one of the most understanding people I know) said, in a disgusted tone, "What's WRONG with you?!"

So how can I tell M, J, and my mom? My mom would accept it, I know, but it would just be really awkward ... And sorry for the rambling.

--------------------
Don't try to feed me "the truth." Just give me the facts and I can figure out the truth for myself.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can SURVIVE.

Posts: 18 | From: Western Washington | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Given the other issues you and your Mom are having, it doesn't sound to me like now would be a good time to come out to her.

And if these are the same friends your boyfriend abused, including one who he forced into sex with you, I also would not expect that right now this is the time to try and work this out with them, either.

My best advice would be that right now, you address other more pressing issues in your life: getting away from abuse and healing from it should come first, especially since you're not currently dating any women (per your other posts) at the moment, anyway.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Xanthine
Neophyte
Member # 45122

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No these are different friends ... I just happen to have a lot of friends whose names start with M.

--------------------
Don't try to feed me "the truth." Just give me the facts and I can figure out the truth for myself.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can SURVIVE.

Posts: 18 | From: Western Washington | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay: honestly, my feeling is still that you have something way bigger on your plate you probably want to deal with right now, you know?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3