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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I am really confused

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Author Topic: I am really confused
Member # 44835

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I dont understand myself

I love women and I am so sexually and emotionally aroused by women. Anything from kissing a woman to making love sends lightning up and down my spine and when my girlfriend is around I act with a puppydog crush.

But lately I have been having gay thoughts as well. My roommate and best friend is gay and yesterday I acted on my thought by starting to make out with him which let to me going down on him and vice versa and it felt wonderful just as good as when I am with a womnan. What the hell is wrong with me

Posts: 9 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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It might help to remember that saying we have "stright" or "gay" feelings is iffy, especially since there are more than those two orientations.

The better way to think about it is that you have had feelings for women, and now you just had feelings for a man.

It may be that you're mostly heterosexual, but have feelings for this one man. It may be that you're bisexual, too.

But ultimately, it tends to take most people some time to figure their orientations out, and often also more than feelings for just one person of one gender to get a sense of if, on the whole, they're attracted to that gender. Know what I mean?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35071

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This seems like a good promotional opportunity for Dan Savage and his "Savage Love Cast" which you can download on itunes for free.

He talks to a lot of youth going through these issues and you may benefit from listening to other guys in the same situation. Weed through his stuff and see if you can find anything that might help.

In the meantime, I was always exploring my thoughts while I was discovering who I was sexually. What arouses you and why? Are there certain things about men that you really like, but you never noticed you had an interest in? Start delving into some "physical questions" and you may find a lot of answers to your problems.

[ 01-04-2010, 04:35 AM: Message edited by: branphlake ]

Posts: 23 | From: Boulder, CO | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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