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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Noticing a common confusion in orientation

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Author Topic: Noticing a common confusion in orientation
michan
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Member # 44481

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Something I've notice in reading a bunch of these threads is that people seem to be working towards trying to figure out what they are. Which is fine, no problem with that, but they seem to be trying to put a label to it.
I must admit that I'm guilty of it too, I used to do that when I was trying to figure if I was gay or not.
To all of those people who are trying to find that label, don't.
A label is a label that doesn't matter, what matters is that you know how you feel and who you are. Don't even think about trying to find the label before you know who you are, because a label can't define you.
If you do want that label though, you HAVE to figure out who you are first, otherwise you can't just put a label to yourself and expect it to be accurate.
Like me, I'm gay because my preference is girls to the point of which I don't want to date, or am not attracted to guys. And because of that, I am able to put the label there, even though it doesn't matter. I could just as easily say "I like girls." and it would be the same.
So please stop trying to label yourself, it won't ever do you any good.

Posts: 34 | From: BC, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Nice advice, michan! [Smile]

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moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
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I think this is terrific advice. If only I could take it. I think I'm bisexual and I have told my parents, but I don't want to be. I think you have the right attitude though. So, if people ask you do you say you are gay? Just curious.

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

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michan
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if someone asks me what I am, depending on the person I will tell them that either gay or a lesbian
Posts: 34 | From: BC, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bonnie.N.Clyde
Activist
Member # 34135

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Oh man, I always wanted to go for the 'lesbian' label! I got less eyebrow raising, and more of the people I knew accepted me. But.. you're very right, michan. When you don't know what or who you are yet, a label can make things tricky.

A counselor for the queer youth group I used to attend put it best: "Sure, I am queer but would I turn down a guy I liked just because? No." Because as youth, we had looked up to her as our 'tight butch lesbian role model lady', when she said that, it really showed me it was okay to have a little bit of a gap. [Smile]

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