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Author Topic: Am I gay?
Goingcrazy
Neophyte
Member # 42216

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I am a 16 year old girl and I was home alone yesterday and while I was, I was cleaning the house. I came across my Dad's work clothes and I noticed that they were quite big. I took the clothes and tried them on to see how big they were. The feeling of being in men's clothes felt empowering and I got this rush of feeling like a man.
So, I went to my brothers room and put on his clothes, put on a bra that would push my breast down, put on a hat to hide my long hair, and I put on some old shoes. I went to the bathroom to take my makeup off, and I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how much of a boy I looked like. However, I felt normal Like this was who I was supposed to be. So I went out on the town dressed as a boy, I was worried people might noticed because I have a very feminine shape and rather decent size breast (b to c-cup), but nobody noticed, there was one old lady who said I was a very handsome boy.
Then while at the local pizza place I came across a girl I knew from school. She said that I looked familiar but I said she must have me confused with someone else. We started talking about school (I said I was new in town), then we moved onto deeper topics and she asked me for my number. I wanted to give it to her but eventually she would found out. Does my attraction to her make me a Lesbian?

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A woman doesn't need a man to dictate her life.

Posts: 8 | From: Orange County | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Idir
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Member # 41176

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Honestly, if you can't tell you're lesbian and you're in the room, what makes you think I can?
Just kidding.

First of all, feeling comfortable in the clothing of the opposite gender doesn't necessarily make you gay. Did you know that many drag queens are actually guys? Oh yes. It's probably the result of society's binary that prevents us from wearing a certain set of clothing that makes us so attracted to it. Exotic becomes Erotic!

From this description, you sound as you're experimenting with crossdressing. That might possibly mean that you're transgender, but not everyone that crossdresses is.

For the girl, well. If you are attracted to her, you are a lesbian!
Or a bisexual! Or even a straight girl!
Being attracted to a single person of the same gender does not mean that you are homosexual. Also, it's not like being straight means that you will never love someone of the same gender, and vice versa for gays. And bisexuals aren't attracted to the same extent to both genders, either.

I'm a gay guy currently with a girl. So... it just depends on who you are attracted to most of the time [Smile]

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I know there is an over the rainbow for me.

Posts: 84 | From: Algeria | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
NonStraightAnswers
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Member # 41629

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I'm hearing a few different questions mixed together.

Sexual orientation, or who we're attracted to, can take some time to figure out. Being interested in one person doesn't define the entirety of your sexual orientation. The site has an article that lists some questions to help you figure out what label might feel most comfortable for you right now (if you already saw it, sorry, and I hope other response prove more helpful!). But there's also no rush to attach any label to your sexual orientation if you don't feel ready to do so!

As for the clothes issue, while stereotypically lesbians are butch and gay men are effeminate, sexual orientation isn't the same as gender identity. Lesbians and heterosexual men can be very feminine, and heterosexual women and gay men very masculine. The feelings you got from wearing mens clothing is a separate issue from what your sexual orientation is. I'm assuming since you included it in your post that you're also wondering about those feelings. You may find that one of the labels that falls under the "transgendered" umbrella feels right for you. Being transgendered means that the gender associated with the sex you're assigned at birth (i.e. "It's a girl!") doesn't fit with how you feel about yourself. From what you described, I don't know if that's the case, though. There's more to gender than the clothes that we wear. Like Idir said, there are heterosexual men who identify completely as men but enjoy performing in drag. These issues get really messy! One place to start learning more about gender identity is here.

Posts: 63 | From: DC, MA, IL, IS - changes every couple years | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goingcrazy
Neophyte
Member # 42216

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I not transgendered, I'm happy with being a girl, it's just that putting on mens' clothes makes me powerful. Though I would prefer to remain a girl by wearing girl's clothes.

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A woman doesn't need a man to dictate her life.

Posts: 8 | From: Orange County | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
NonStraightAnswers
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Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being stuck with a label that doesn't apply, just to sort out the clothes issue from the sexual orientation one. I hope that part of the message, at least, was of some help.

As for feeling powerful in men's clothes but wanting to remain a woman, I can definitely understand that. It sucks that there's an idea that to be powerful (i.e. in the position men are by default), women who fully identify as women have to minimize the femininity of what they wear. It can work in the other direction, too. Some women (including me) don't feel any need to wear traditionally feminine stuff (make-up, skirts, etc.) but still identify completely as women. I'd imagine that if I felt strongly pushed by my family or community to wear more feminine stuff, it could be really empowering to get a break from that by dressing up as a guy even though I don't identify as one.

All this rambling is to say with such complicated issues it's a process for everyone to figure out what feels right for them. Good luck!

Posts: 63 | From: DC, MA, IL, IS - changes every couple years | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nat29
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Member # 42199

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hey
i totally no wat u feel like
i normally wear jeans and a t-shirt or shirt and sneakers, and i dont mind getin mistaken for a boy and i no im not trans or anythin because i love bein a girl i do sometimes like to look like one just like sometimes i like too look like a boy.
i personally identify as gender queer (theres loads of articles on here if you want to search for them)
i am gay, yes i feel like my orientation is connected but only in the way that it is part of who iam. and ur sexuality or gender shudnt define you
so just have fun for the moment
im the same age as you and im tottaly open to any sexualty or gender i just go with my feelins so if it feels rite to u then just experiment with wat u feel
hope that made sense (im a bad typer lol)
natalie xxxxx

Posts: 1 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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