Oy, me too! I have "always" known that I'm gay, I just didn't accept it. But it was slightly more complex for me.
Here in Algeria, we are taught that there's a heterosexual/asexual binary, so I was really, really, confused. I never liked playing with the other boys, I preferred hanging out with girls instead, and I used to cross-dress from time to time. That was all before primary school, though
Then, when middle school started, all my friends were talking about their girlfriends, and how awesome making out is. I tried kissing a girl, but it didn't feel exceptionally good. They were also talking about porn, and straight porn never did anything for me. After a few pseudo-experiences with guys, it was clear that I was sexually - as well as romantically - attracted to other males, so I looked it up, and found some sex ed sites which have finally made me understand that there IS such a thing as homosexuality, despite what our local clerics might say.
-------------------- I know there is an over the rainbow for me. Posts: 84 | From: Algeria | Registered: Nov 2008
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I'm not really sure, exactly. I've always been the type to do a lot of introspection, and so when I got into around middle school (maybe a little earlier) and actually learned what the term "bisexual" meant, it just sort of clicked. There's no real moment that I remember, or much of a process of self-discovery. I do remember at one point thinking about it and realizing that, in the long-term, I could picture myself getting old and having children and all that a lot more clearly with a woman than with a man. But for the most part, my orientation kind of just came to me as I started getting crushes, and it was never that big of a deal. *shrug* Maybe I was just exceptionally lucky.
Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005
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It was pretty simple for me, even though at the time, the amount of awareness about bisexuality was basically zip compared to how it is now, so I didn't have any language to express what my orientation was for a handful of years.
I had sexual and romantic feelings for girls, and I had sexual and romantic feelings for boys.
Both sets of feelings were strong and pretty undeniable.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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There was no grand epiphany for me either. Even when I was young, I felt a soft affinity for guys, even though I was taught by my parents that "queers were evil." All through my pre-college years, I just kind of welled my feelings about anything regarding sexuality for the most part, even though I knew I was "supposed" to be into girls, even though I really liked guys.
The kicker was in college, when I had my one sexual experience ever. I was with this woman, largely to experiment, and I flat out told her, right there in the bedroom, that it just couldn't work because both of us had the wrong body types, genitalia, and emotion sets. I know that might have been rather blunt and tactless, but it was how I felt.
It's something that's just been rather cut and dry for me all my life and I highly doubt it will ever change.
Posts: 13 | From: Somewhere | Registered: Nov 2008
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I also sort of always knew, just didn't want to accept it. Even when I was young, I knew I didn't really have any interest in boys, but didn't really understand my feelings for women. It was mostly once I hit puberty that I knew, but it's always a difficult thing to accept when you're young.
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