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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Locker Rooms

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Author Topic: Locker Rooms
tallia7793
Neophyte
Member # 39351

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So...right, then.

I *am* attracted to girls. I do *not* intend let this fact on in high school. I live in a rather open-minded city in Oregon, but that doesn't mean that *all* it's inhabitants are open-minded, obviously.

I *was* going to take net games this year, but dropped the class for two reasons.
1) I don't have a competitive bone in my body [Smile]
2) It's 3rd period, so I would've had to change in a locker room.

It's not urgent, but for future reference I would like to know how to handle locker room situations.

My dad is afraid that I'll get the **** kicked out of me for being in the locker rooms if anyone suspects (or somehow learns) that I'm a lesbian. I don't want to possibly add more cause for suspicion by changing in the locker bathroom all the time.

Thing is, I also don't know if it's just plain *polite* to stay out of the girls' locker room. I *really* don't think I would feel, I dunno, turned on or anything in that situation, but again my dad thinks it might still be disrespectful.

(Just in case it seems otherwise, my dad and I have a superb relationship. He's just very very protective, and understandably so.)

So, I don't even really know what my question is, but if you can give any advice on how to handle locker room situations, I would be *very* grateful for it.

Thank you!

Posts: 20 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I don't think it's disrespectful for you to be using the locker room simply because you feel attraction to women.

After all, there are plenty of lesbian or straight male physicians, massage therapists (and they're even touching clients in-depth), gym workers, etc., with female clients. It's not inappropriate for them to have female patients, and that's because simply because we are attracted to a given group of people does not mean that we can't act respectfully if and when we feel that attraction, nor that we can't not bring our sexuality to arenas where it isn't appropriate or wanted. You speak to that yourself.

I also think you using the locker room should be perfectly safe. While your Dad may be well-meaning with his advice, I have to say I disagree with what he's said in both respects here. I also disagree with putting yourself in positions where you are opting out of opportunities or parts of normal life because you're lesbian.

So, how do you handle a locker room? probably exactly the way you figure you would. You use it to change. If you occasionally have some moderate curiosity in looking at someone else, just know that a) straight women have that too in locker rooms sometimes, and b)it's just not the place to really indulge that curiosity, just because everyone in locker rooms already often feels so vulnerable.

[ 08-26-2008, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tallia7793
Neophyte
Member # 39351

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Okay, *that*...that makes a lot of sense.

Thank you, Heather [Smile]

Posts: 20 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Happy to be of help.

It might also help to remember that the gossip often isn't true. Given the law of horrendous high school averages, it strikes me as more likely for a straight girl who just doesn't fit in in some way to be labeled a lesbian than an actual lesbian. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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